Time to go home Jokes - page 14

Brenda McCarthy is home making dinner for her husband Patrick when Tim Finnegan knocks at her door. “May I come in, Brenda darlin’?” says Tim sadly, “I’ve somethin to tell ya.” “Of course, Tim, come in, but where’s Patrick?” she asks. “That’s what I’m here to be tellin ya, Brenda,” says Tim. “There was an accident down at the Guinness Brewery.” “Oh, God NO!” cries Brenda. “Please don’t tell me…..” “I’m so sorry, darlin’” says Tim, his voice breaking, “Your…

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Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. –Ernest Hemmingway Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. –Winston Churchill He was a wise man, who invented beer. –Plato Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. –Lady Astor to Winston Churchill Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. –Churchill’s reply When I read about…

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1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 2. Memorize your favorite poem. 3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want. 4. When you say, “I love you,” mean it. 5. When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye. 6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. 7. Believe in love at first sight. 8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. 9. Love deeply and…

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