Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Dear Customers: It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The Southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads “WINDERS 98” and has a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver.…
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There is a guy sitting at a bar. After a little bit, an alien walks in and sits next to him. The alien has a few drinks and leans over to the guy and touches him with his finger and says “zap.” The guy ignores him the first couple of times. After a while though, he starts to get annoyed. First he asks the alien to stop, then starts demanding, then the guy threatens to pull the alien’s pants down…
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A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room, they undress, climb into bed, and go at it. When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences a repeat performance. The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When finished, the Chinese…
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A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and landed on “Science & Nature.” Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum, and someone calls your name, can you hear it?” She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”
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A young, frazzled mother stood inside the front door, her arms full of coats. Four small children scurried around her. Her husband, coming down the stairs with every hair in place, asked why she was just standing there. “Here,” she said, handing him the coats. “This time, YOU put the children into their coats, and I’ll go sit in the car and honk the horn.”
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An elderly couple is vacationing in the West. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into their room and says to his wife, “Notice anything different, Bessie?” Bessie looks him over, “Nope.” Sam says excitedly, “Come on, Bessie, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?” Bessie looks again, “Nope.” Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back…
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The two Uranians landed in the desert, and , leaving their saucer hidden beneath a dune, they go exploring. The first sign of civilization they spot is a service station, and approaching warily, Commander Znugg says to Science Officer Ktoing, “Watch it, this is gonna be rough.” “How do you know? asked Ktoing. “Trust me, Znugg replied as they walked up to the nearest gas pump. Trying to sound as pleasant as possible, Znugg said, “Take me to your leader.”…
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WHAT IF GOD HAD VOICE MAIL We have all learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of modern life. But you may have wondered: what if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing this: Thank you for calling The Lord’s House. Please select from the following options: Press 1 for GENERAL REQUESTS Press 2 for THANKSGIVING Press 3 for COMPLAINTS Press 4 for HEALING Press 5 for HELP WITH THE IRS Press 6 for…
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A group of nuns were traveling in a car when it got a flat tire. They got out and tried to change it, but being rather unworldly did not know how to do it. Luckily, a truck came along and the male driver offered to change it for them. They gladly accepted. As the trucker jacked up the car, it slipped from the jack. “Son-of-a-bitch,” he yelled. The eldest nun said to him, “That is not nice language. We understand…
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Grandma and Grandpa were in the doctor’s office one day. After a brief check-up, the doctor said, “You know Grandpa, you’re 98, your wife is 96, tell me …. after this many years of marriage do you two still have mutual climax?” Grandpa said, “I don’t know, I’ll have to ask grandma.” He yelled to his wife, “Grandma do we still have mutual climax?” Grandma said, “Listen, old man, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times…
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