Married Couples Still Party
Wife says, “Let’s go out and have some fun tonight.” Husband replies, “Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Th th Jokes - page 559
Applying For A Job At McDonald’s
This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM! NAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle…
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Relaxed Standards
The class discussion centered on the university’s coed dorms. While the professor said this cohabitation of men and women reflected the newer generation’s relaxed ethical standards, many students disagreed. Finally, one student asked, “You mean you never walked into a woman’s dorm after hours when you were in college?” “Never,” the teacher replied firmly. “I always had to climb in through the window.”
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F.B.I.
The FBI is looking for a new assassin so they place an ad in the paper. The next day they get three replies. The three men are told to come in for an interview the next day and they need to bring their wives when they come. The next day the three men show up with wives in tow. The first man is called in and they place his wife in a room and give him a gun and tell…
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ego
What are the three smallest words that can really destroy a man’s ego during love making? “Is it in?” And the three smallest words that can really destroy a woman’s ego during love making? “I don’t know.”
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Surprise, surprise….
Two friends meet on the street and one gives the good news to the other…. Did you know that I finally had a son on Monday? Gosh, congratulations, and…how is your wife doing? Oh, I guess she is doing great so far, but wait until she finds out about the baby..
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Neighbor’s Chickens
A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept talking about chickens being great creatures, and as such, they had the right to go wherever they wanted. The man was having no luck keeping the chickens out of his flower beds, and his buddy commented that he’d soon have no flowers left at all. Two weeks later, on a visit, the friend noticed that his flower beds were doing great. So the…
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Efficiency Expert
The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. “You don’t want to try these techniques at home.” “Why not?” asked someone from the back of the audience. “I watched my wife’s routine at breakfast for years,” the expert explained. “She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. ‘Hon,’ I suggested, ‘Why don’t you try carrying several things at once?’” The voice from the back…
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Heavenly Parts!!!
The teacher of a third grade class was having a discussion about what body parts go to heaven first. She asked her students which they thought and Sarah, Jake and Little Jonny in the back raised their hands. The teacher thought to herself that she better not ask Jonny because he would just say something perverted. So she asked Sarah. Sarah: “The head because you have to be smart to get into heaven.” Then the teacher asked Jake. Jake: “Your…
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White lines
Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet? She thought it was diet coke!!!
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