Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A building contractor was being paid by the week for a job that was likely to stretch over several months. He approached the owner of the property and held up the check he’d been given. “This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on,” he said. “I know,” the owner said. “But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you never complained.” The contractor said. “Well, I don’t mind an occasional mistake. But when it gets to…
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Two bikers are sitting at a bar. This big biker comes into the bar and sits down at a stool. The biker next to him has a bowl of soup in front of him and the other biker asks if he is going to eat that. He says go ahead so he starts to eat. 2-3 minutes later he notices a big turd in it and starts to puke and the other biker says, “That’s about how far I got…
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Two Irishmen are sitting at the bar, and on the side of the bar is a huge mirror. Murphy looks over and says, “Don`t look now, Patrick, but the chap sitting over there looks the spitting image of you!” Patrick says, “I don`t believe it, the other chap is identical to YOU as well!” Murphy stands up and says, “I’m going to buy them a drink.” Patrick says, “Don`t bother, they are coming over.”
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What do you call a Teacher of the Year who eats a lot of beans? An excellent tooter.
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A little old lady had two monkeys for years. One day one of them died of natural causes. In grief, the second monkey passed away two days later. Not knowing what to do with them, she finally decided to take them to the taxidermist and have them stuffed. After telling the owner of her wishes, he asked her, “Do you want them mounted?” Blushing, she said, “No. Shaking hands will be fine.”
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A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas and she’s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, “What rotten luck! What should I do now?” A man standing next to her trying to calm her down suggests, “I don’t know… why don’t you play your age?” He walks away but moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table he’s just left. Maybe she’s won! He rushes back to…
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A golfer goes in a bathroom where a sign reads: l l l \ / Line up your balls and stick your putter here!
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A proctologist walks into a bank to get some cash. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulls a rectal thermometer out of his pocket and tries to write with it. Realizing his mistake, he says to the teller, “Great, just great. Some a..hole is walking around with my pen!”
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Holiday Fruitcake Recipe. Sure to lift your spirits: 1 C water 1C sugar 4 eggs 2 cups dried fruit 1 fifth Jack Daniels whiskey *Get large mixing bowl *Sample whiskey to check for quality. *Check whiskey again *Pour one level cup of whiskey *Drink *Turn on the electric mixer *Beat one cup of butter in the bowl *Add one seaspoon of tugar and beat again *Cry another tup of whiskey *Dump 2 cups of dried fruit into bowl *Mix on…
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Wife says, “Let’s go out and have some fun tonight.” Husband replies, “Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.”
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