Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one syllable. “Jane, Do you know any polysyllabic words?” After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. “Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon……day. Does anyone know another word?” Little Johnny from the back of the room yells, “I do! I do!” Knowing Johnny’s more mature sense…
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A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him. As he sits down, the bartender comes over and asks for their order. The man says, “I’ll have a beer.” He turns to the ostrich and asks “What’s yours?” “I’ll have a beer too,” says the ostrich. The bartender pours the beer and says, “That will be $3.40 please.” The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man…
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A Programmer and an Engineer A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun.…
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A private is on duty in the motor pool when the phone rings: “Soldier, can you tell me what equipment is available for use immediately?” the voice on the other end asks. “Well, Sir, we have two tanks, a half dozen half-tracks, two armored personnel carriers, a couple of motorcycles, and fat-ass Johnson’s command jeep.” “Soldier, do you know to whom you are speaking?” “No, Sir.” “This is Major Johnson, your commander!” “Uh, Sir? Do you know whom you are…
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Three drunk Irishmen were rambling through a cemetery in search of the oldest person buried there. One Blasted Bloke, Shamus, yells out, “Here’s a fella that died when he was 145 years old!” “What was his name?” asks Paddy. Shamus lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, “Miles, from Dublin.”
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Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, “Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?” “Outstanding!” Fred replied. “They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great!” “That’s wonderful. And what was the name of that clinic? Maybe I should go.” Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn’t remember. Then a smile lit up his face, and he asked, “What do you…
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“Good afternoon, ladies,” says Sherlock Holmes to three women sitting on a park bench as he and his good friend Dr. Watson are taking an afternoon stroll through the park in London. When they are out of earshot from the three women, Dr. Watson asks, “I say, Holmes, do you know those ladies back there?” “No, Watson,” replies Holmes, “I don’t know the spinster, the prostitute and the new bride.” Astonished, Watson asks again in a surprised voice, “Good heavens,…
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One night, a couple goes to a chinese resturant to celebrate their anniversary. They are happily chatting away when the waiter comes up and asks them what they would like to order. “I don’t know what I want”, says the woman. “What are your specials?” “Well, tonight we have a spactacular special. It is called “Cream of Sumyung Gi. It’s ingredients are a family secret, but all the customers who have had it rave about the taste.” The woamn orders…
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There was this guy named Joe. Ever since he was born, he has always been 2nd at everything. His baby stroller was always slower than the other kids’, his tricycle was old and rusted and had wobbly wheels, his first bike was a piece of junk, his first car wouldn’t go over 35 m.p.h. So Joe resigned himself to a life of slowness, never able to win a race in his life. Until one day, when his rich uncle died…
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God: And remember Moshe, in the laws of keeping Kosher, never cook a calf in its mother’s milk. It is cruel, Moshe (Moses): Ohhhhhh! So you are saying we should never eat milk and meat together. G: No, what I’m saying is, never cook a calf in its mother’s milk. M: Oh, Lord forgive my ignorance! What you are really saying is we should wait six hours after eating meat to eat milk so the two are not in our…
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