Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural history museum. “I’ve just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!” the excited scientist exclaimed. To which the curator replied, “Bring him in. We’ll check it out.” A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. “You were right about the mummy’s age and…
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A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room, they undress, climb into bed, and go at it. When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences a repeat performance. The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When finished, the Chinese…
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Q: What is the shortest book in the world. A: What men know about women
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A masterful forger, this guy definitely was not. News of the Weird reports that in March 1996, 18-year-old dock worker at Roadway Express in Dallas was arrested at a local Western Union and charged with forgery after improperly trying to cash a check made out to his employer. The man produced a photo ID that gave his name as Mr. Roadway V. Express. After questioning him, the Western Union manager said, “OK, Mr. Express, I’ll be right back (with the…
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A man in a bar said to the bartender, “I’ll bet you a hundred bucks I can bite my own eye!” The bartender, convinced this was impossible, accepted. The man pulled out his false teeth, bit his eye gently with them, and replaced them in his mouth. The bartender was pretty upset, but paid the $100. A few minutes later, the man approached the bartender again. “Look,” he said, “I’ll give you a chance to win that hundred back. I’ll…
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A blind man is sitting on a park bench. A rabbi walks over, sits down next to the blind man and hands him a piece of matzoh. A couple of minutes go by, and the blind man says, “Who wrote this shit?!”
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More Things You’d Never Have Known If Not For the Movies: If you overpower a sentry or guard, his uniform will fit you perfectly. It is possible to brush your teeth without any toothpaste foam appearing on your lips. Handsome men don’t belch or fart. If you’re a team of misfits and losers, you’ll win the championship. In a large city, the streets are always wet at night. Most bathrooms do not have a toilet. All orphans can sing and…
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We know about ambulance-chasing lawyers, but there’s also big money in splitsville. There was shifty-eyed guy at the post office methodically licking “Love” stamps and placing them on a pile of bright pink envelopes with hearts all over. After all were stamped, the man took out a perfume bottle and sprayed each envelope. A curious bystander asked: “What are you doing?” “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’” said the fellow at the counter. “But why?” “I’m a…
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A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his family: a weeping wife and four children. Three of the children are tall, good-looking and athletic; but the fourth and youngest is an ugly runt. “Darling wife,” the husband whispers, “assure me that the youngest child really is mine. I want to know the truth before I die, I will forgive you if–” The wife gently interrupts him. “Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question, I swear on my mother’s grave that…
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Rev. Falwell sees news reports that the military allows practicing witches in the Army. Incensed, he calls a top Pentagon general demanding that witchcraft not be tolerated in the military. “Good Christians pray to God for this Country. For all you know, these damn witches are casting Satanic curses.” “Sorry, Reverend…” the General replied, “we just can’t discriminate on the basis of hex!”
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