Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The Easter bunny came to my house today. Well he didn’t come inside, but rather, he hopped around my yard for a while. Really he didn’t hop, it was more like he walked around the yard. I was quite surprised by his appearance. In fact he didn’t look much like I always thought he would. He was furry and brown; he also walked on four legs and had large teeth. I was really excited when he began hiding chocolate eggs…
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1. Well, aren’t we just a ray of fucking sunshine? 2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we? 3. A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth. 4. Do I look like a fucking people person? 5. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting. 6. If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I’ll put shoes on my cat. (Wait a minute, I hate cats. Change that to my dog.) 7. Did the aliens…
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An American General, a Russian General and a British General are standing on the deck of a ship watching war exercises. The topic of discussion turns to human courage, and the Russian General boasts, “Russians are the most courageous people on Earth!”. Upon which the American (naturally) challenges him: “Oh yeah?”. The Russian says, “Sure! Here, Yuri! Jump off the deck and swim around the ship!” Yuri marches off into the freezing Atlantic without a word and does as he…
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A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she says, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.” “That is correct,” Say the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts.…
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An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the Italian front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and had made it to Southampton, England, there to board a train bound for a few days in London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only seat unoccupied was directly across from a well dressed middle aged lady…
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In the newspaper the other day there was a story of a newborn that was born without any eyelids. The doctor told the young couplethat there was nothing to worry about, since it was early enough, that when their son was circumsized, the foreskin could be grafted on as eyelids. I don’t know about you, but I feel sorry for that young kid. He’s gonna grow up COCKEYED!
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A man knocked on his neighbour’s door to be met by his neighbour’s wife who was sobbing, tears streaming down her face. “Is Bill at home?” our friend asked. “I’ve just found him in the garden with an axe in his head,screaming and shouting, blood spurting everywhere and watched him die a horrible death in front of my very eyes,” his wife wailed. “Oh dear,” responded our friend, “did he say anything about that chainsaw he promised to lend me?”
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There was this party in the woods and, all of a sudden there was a downpour of rain and thunder. These two young men ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, and finally reached their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing and, of course, still drinking one beer after the other. All of a sudden an old man’s face appeared outside the passenger…
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yo mama’s eye glasses are so thick that she can see into the future.
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Sandra: “I hear Roy has finally proposed to you. Did he happen to mention that he proposed to me first?” Cheryl: “Not specifically. He DID say, however, that he had done a lot of foolish things before he met me.”
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