Th th th Jokes - page 405

Proof supplied

A quiet little man was brought before a judge. The judge looked down at the man and then at the charges and then down at the little man in amazement. “Can you tell me in your own words what happened?” he asked the man. “I’m a mathematician dealing in the nature of proof.” said the little man. “Yes, go on,” said the astounded judge. “Well. I was at the library and I found the books I wanted and went to…

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Garden of Eden

After the fall in the Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons, Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, “What’s that?” Adam replied, “Boys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.”

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Belgians and brains

A Dutch friend told me the following nationalistic joke, which is portable to any in-group/out-group situation. It’s best told with some physical illustration on the part of the teller: Two Belgians are digging a deep hole while a Dutch foreman stands at the top of the hole and gives them orders. The slightly more intelligent Belgian asks, “Why are we digging while he stands up there and does nothing?” “I dunno,” says the slightly less intelligent Belgian, and climbs up…

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Clinton Dreams

One night Bill Clinton dreams he meets George Washington. He says “Washington, what can I do to make things better for the people?” Washinton says “Lower the Taxes.” Bill says “I can do that.” The next night he dreams he meets Thomas Jefferson. He asks “Jefferson, what can I do to make things better for the people?” Jefferson answers “LOWER the TAXES!” Bill says “I’m working on that!” On the third night he dreams he meets Abraham Lincoln. Again he…

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Is it soup yet?

In the land of cannibals, the cannibals cook was busying himself with a stew pot. Adding spices, tasting the broth, and stirring. Repeating the steps as often as a cook should. A while later the cannibal chief walks up and asks, “Whacha, makin?” “SOUP!” yelled the cannibal cook. Seeing that the cook was not in a good mood, the chief decided to change the subject by asking, “So how’s the family?” “They’re all fine, I guess. BUT I JUST CAN’T…

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2001 Holiday Schedule

The Office of Personnel Management for the United States government today announced the 2001 holiday schedule for federal employees. There will be two fewer holidays in Washington, D.C., next year. Halloween and Thanksgiving have been cancelled. The witch is moving to New York, and she’s taking the turkey with her.

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Hospital Joke

A woman gets a call from the hospital. The doctor at the hospital says, “Mrs. Smith, it’s about your husband. He’s been in a terrible car accident.” Mrs. Smith says, “Ohmigod, what happened.” The doctor says, “Well, I’ve got good news, and bad news.” Mrs. Smith says, “Give me the good news first.” The doctor says, “Well, your husband suffered extensive injuries and will take years to recuperate. He broke both of his arms, among other things, so for at…

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