Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A young man died somewhat before his time in a motor accident, and found himself in Hell. He sat in a hot ante-room surrounded by swirling sulphurous gases as he gloomily awaited his fate. He’d heard all the jokes. “OK lads, tea break’s over, back on your heads.” Being forced to listen to a continuous Barry Manilow tape. The electrodes on the goolies. It made him shiver. Finally Satan arrived, detected the young chap’s demeanour and said, “Hey, why so…
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(Sing to the tune of “The Beverly Hillbillies”) Well, dere once was a story ’bout a man named Bill; Da poor president couldn’t keep his willie still; Den one day he was workin’ at his desk, When in walks Monica and shows da boy her chest … Boobs, that is. Two of ’em. Bodacious ta ta’s. Well da next thing ya know, Monica is on her knees, Mouth open wide and as happy as you please; Bill sez, “oh yeah…
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The Devil told the lawyer, “I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife’s soul, and the souls of your children.” The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, “So, what’s the catch?”
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Five-year-old Timmy is playing with scissors in nursery, and he cuts himself. He rushes to the teacher. “Miss, miss! I’ve cut my hand! I need some cider, miss!” “Cider?!” cries the teacher, horrified, “Why on Earth do you want that, Timmy?” “Well,” explains the boy, “my big sister says that whenever she gets a prick in her hand she puts it in cider.”
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10. I ran out of toilet paper damnit! 9. I was flashed by the MiB and they took it, honest. 8. Clinton needed a speech for losing against Iran. 7. I lit my fart on fire and my homework got in the way. 6. Your pet humped it and I ain’t touching that. 5. My mom and dad were having sex, I had to watch. 4. Showgirls was on. 3. I had nothing to do and I ain’t doing homework.…
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A guy gets set up on a blind date, and he takes her out for dinner to a very expensive restaurant to make a good impression. The waiter approaches the table and asks to take their order. The lady begins ordering practically everything on the menu–shrimp cocktail, pate, Caesar salad, lobster, crepes suzette–with no regard to the prices. The guy is getting very upset, as he never thought she would order so much. She then stops and looks across at…
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Q: Why do blondes like cars with sunroofs? A: More leg room.
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There is a very dangerous virus going around and it is propagated through the e-mail system. If you get an e-mail message with the subject : “VIRUS ALERT!” do not open the e-mail message. If you do, the virus scrambles the second half of every text file on your system. VERY IMPORTANT: If you do get this virus, the first thing yof su ew fosi zxyc fpfpphgas kdjfk skjsdkf ajhds sjhdf oque augdx dsu8 sudk vsaiu ajdk vlkjf !
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President Bush is representing the United States of America on a highly formal, orchestrated state visit to England. Air Force One stops at a bright red carpet along which the President strides to join Queen Elizabeth II in a beautiful, ornate 17th-century coach hitched to 6 enormous matched white horses. The coach proceeds through the streets of London en route to Buckingham Palace, the Queen and the President waving to the cheering throngs. Then suddenly the right rear horse produces…
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Q: What do you get, when you cross a $20 bill with a $100 bill? A: THIRTY YEARS (Think about it.)
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