Th th th Jokes - page 249

Blonds

What does a good basketball team and a bad basketball team have in common with a blonde? They all score.

(1)Loading...

Read JokeBlonds

Siamese Twins

One sunny Tuesday afternoon, in a bar in Normandy, France, a Barman notices two guys sitting in the corner leaning on each other. The Barman, feelng a bit homophobic, goes over to these two and says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t accept gay people in this bar! There is a lovely gay bar down the road if you are interested!” The couple look angry and one replies, “I’m sorry to tell you, but we are not gay! We are in…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeSiamese Twins

Needs Sleep

Exhausted from driving, the traveling salesman stopped in this one town and pulled over to get an hour or two of sleep. But, as luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be one of the streets that the majority of the town’s people used to take their daily run. The salesman had barely pulled over and gotten comfortable when a jogger was knocking on his window, asking, “Excuse me, but do you have the time?” The…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeNeeds Sleep

Polite Virus

HONOR SYSTEM VIRUS: This virus works on the honor system. Please delete all the files on your hard disk, then forward this message to everyone you know. Thank you for your cooperation.

(0)
Loading...

Read JokePolite Virus

Joe & John

Once there were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner of a dilapidated old boat. It so happened that John’s wife died the same day that Joe’s boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Joe and mistook him for John. She said, “I am sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible.” Joe, thinking that she was talking about the boat, said, “Heck no, in fact, I’m sort of glad to…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeJoe & John

Boiled Tongue

A customer asked the waitress what the daily special was. She replied, “Boiled tongue.” “BOILED TONGUE!” responded the horrified customer. “There is certainly no way that I would ever eat anything that came out of a cow’s mouth! That’s disgusting!! Give me three fried eggs, instead!

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeBoiled Tongue

asscons

We all know those cute little computer symbols called “emoticons,” where 🙂 means a smile and 🙁 is a frown. Sometimes these are represented by 🙂 and 🙁 respectively. Well, how about some “asscons”? (_!_) a regular ass (__!__) a fat ass (!) a tight ass (_._) a flat ass (_^^_) a bubble ass (_*_) a sore ass (_!__) a lop-sided ass {_!_} a swishy ass (_o_) an ass that’s been around (_O_) an ass that’s been around even more…

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokeasscons

For Sale

A real-estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming little farmhouse, with a hand-lettered “For Sale” sign out front. After briskly introducing herself and her associate to the startled occupant, the agent cruised from room to room, opening closets and cupboards, testing faucets and pointing out where a “new light fixture here and a little paint there” would help. Pleased with her assertiveness, the woman was hopeful that the owner would offer her the…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeFor Sale

Cheap Train Ride

A group of four engineers and a group of four accountants were all waiting in line to buy tickets for the train going to New York, each group going to a different convention. Each of the accountants went to the window and bought a ticket. They noticed that only one of the engineers bought a ticket. They wondered how they were all going to ride on only one ticket. Everyone boarded the train, and all four engineers crowded into the…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeCheap Train Ride