Jelly Beans
What can a jelly bean do that a man can’t? Come (cum) in different colors.
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Th th th Jokes - page 231
Where’s My Car?
A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches. “Can I help you, Sir?” “Yesssh! Ssssshomebody ssshtole my car!” the man replies. The cop asks, “Where was the car the last time you saw it?” “It wassss at the end of thissss key!” the man answers. About that time, the officer looks down and sees that the man’s “thing” is hanging out of…
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Lost Boots
There was a little boy in kindergarten. At the end of one cold winter day, when all the other children were leaving, the teacher found him crying, so she asked him what was wrong. He sobbed, “I can’t find my boots.” The teacher looked around the classroom and saw a pair of boots. “Are these yours?” “No, they’re not mine,” said the little boy, shaking his head. The teacher and the boy searched all over the classroom for his boots.…
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lying politician
Q. How do you know when a politician is lying? A. Whenever he opens his mouth!
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Colorful Shipwreck
A guy gets shipwrecked. When he wakes up, he’s on a beach. The sand is purple. He can’t believe it. The sky is purple. He walks around a bit and sees that there is purple grass, purple birds and purple fruit on the purple trees. He’s shocked when he finds that his skin is starting to turn purple, too. “Oh NO!” he says, “I think I’ve been marooned!”
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Flowers
This woman and her husband have this really bad fight. He goes off to work the next day without talking to her, but she doesn’t care. She’s busy doing her thing around the house. All of a sudden, around 1:00 in the afternoon, the doorbell rings. She goes to the door and opens it and there is a young delivery guy from the local florist shop with an enormous, beautiful bouquet of long-stemmed red roses…the expensive ones…from her husband. She…
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Men & pigs
Q:What’s the difference between a man and a pig? A:Pigs don’t act stupid when they’re drunk!!!
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Consoling Words
A young minister, in the first days of his first parish, was obliged to call upon the widow of an eccentric man who had just died. Standing before the open casket and consoling the widow, he struggled to find appropriate words and said, “I know this must be a very hard time, Mrs. Jones. But we must remember that what we see here is the husk only, the shell–the nut has already gone to Heaven.” “Ohhh, then you DID know…
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Bigger Boobs
A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small. Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then…
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yo mamma’s
yo mamma is so dumb, she tripped over a cordless phone. yo mamma is so fat, everytime she wears red, all the neighborhood people come out singing, “go koolaid, go koolaid”. yo mamma is so fat, that when one day while she was bungee jumping in a yellow suit, someone said, “oh my god, someone do something! the sun is falling!”
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