Th th th Jokes - page 195

social security

One Sunday an elderly man tells his wife he is going to apply for Social Security. She tells him, “You can’t apply for benefits when you don’t even have a Social Security card!” He simply says, “Watch me.” Monday morning he dresses and off to the Social Security office he goes. When he returns, he says, “Well, I got it!” She asks, “How in the world did you get Social Security?” “I just opened up my shirt and showed them…

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokesocial security

Heaven Sent

Three men die and they all go up to the pearly gates, Saint Peter is waiting for them and he says to the first one, “What did you do when you were on earth?” The man said, “I was a carpenter.” Peter said, “That’s fine, come on in.” He then asked the next man the same question, to which the man replied, “I was a plumber.” So Peter let him in also. Finally he came to the last man and…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHeaven Sent

Wait, You Forgot To Insult Me!!

While German composer Johannes Brahms could be agreeable and interesting, he could also be difficult, sarcastic and rude. Even his friends were not immune to unprovoked verbal attacks. On one occasion he upset a gathering of friends with a series of offensive remarks, then rose to his feet and left the room, stopping briefly at the door to say, “If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted, I beg his pardon.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWait, You Forgot To Insult Me!!

Politics

Discussion between a father and his 12 year old son: Son: Dad, I have to do a report for school. Can I ask you a question? Father: Sure son, whats the question? Son: What is Politics? Father: Well, let’s take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so lets call me capitalism. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the government. We take care of your needs, so lets call you the people.…

(2)Loading...

Read JokePolitics

Crossword Puzzle Expert

A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight. “This is exciting,” thought the gentleman. “I’ve always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I’ll be able to see him in person.” Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next to him. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to the Pontiff. Shortly after take-off, the Pope began a crossword puzzle. “This is…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeCrossword Puzzle Expert

3 Tough Mice

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, slams the glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says, “When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to…

(1)Loading...

Read Joke3 Tough Mice

‘Schultz is dead!’

A man was walking through the park when he noticed a woman crying her heart out. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Schultz is dead! Schultz is dead! Boo hoo hoo!” the woman sobbed. Since he did not know who Schultz was, the man moved on. Then he came upon another woman crying. “Schultz is dead!” wailed this woman. The man just went on his way. Along the way, he met another woman crying. Then another. And another. And another. All of…

(5)Loading...

Read Joke‘Schultz is dead!’