Th th th Jokes - page 191

stupid men

John and Dan were ridin their horses across a north americian plane and they were sort on cash so they pulled into a Ranch and went up to the owner and asked if they could do some work for some cash. The farmer said no i dont but i will give you $500 for every Indian you kill but you have to bring thier heads back with you. So anyway they set off across the plane when they came across…

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Saddam and Bill’s Dreams

Saddam Hussein called President Clinton and said: “Bill, I called you because I had this dream last night. I could see all of America and it was beautiful, and on top of every building there was a beautiful banner.” Clinton asked, “What was on the banner?” Saddam responded, “It said Alla is God, God is Alla.” Clinton said: “You know Saddam, I’m really glad you called, because last night I had a dream too. I could see all of Baghdad…

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A-Z on men

1. Men are like department stores…. their clothes should always be half off. 2. Men are like vacations…. they never seem to be long enough. 3. Men are like computers… hard to figure out and never have enough memory. 4. Men are like coolers… load them with beer and you can take them anywhere. 5. Men are like chocolate bars…. sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips. 6. Men are like coffee…. the best ones are rich,…

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Unlucky dwarfs

Two dwarfs won the lottery and booked into a swank motel for a night of fun. They were down the lobby getting sloshed when a couple of prostitutes walked in and asked them if they wanted some action. “Sure do!” one proclaimed as they made their way up to the rooms. “See ya in the morning, mate,” the first dwarf said to the other as he put his arm around one of the prostitutes and went into his room. But…

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Grandpa’s Up Again

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.” The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays…

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COPS

The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two…

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