Th th th Jokes - page 136

It begins with MEN

Men-tal Anxiety. . . Men-opause. . . Men-tal Breakdown. Ever noticed that all our problems start with MEN? Q: What’s the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked blonde and a sixpack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one. Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common? A: They either cling, run or don’t fit right in the crotch! Q: Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet? A: Because…

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Face to Face with a Lion

“Yes, I came face to face with a lion once. To make matters worse, I was alone and weaponless . . .” “Goodness! What did you do?” “What could I do? First, I tried looking straight into his eyeballs, but he kept crawling up on me. Then I thought of plunging my arm down his throat, grabbing him by the tail and turning him inside out, but I decided it would be too dangerous. Yet, he kept creeping up on…

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Oh, the REGRETS!

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?” The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than…

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The Nosy Cab Driver

Each morning, a self-righteous, nosy cab driver would drive a man to his place of employment and would later return to drive the man’s wife to her place of employment…a brothel. During a conversation one morning with the man, the nosy cab driver smugly stated, “I don’t mean to be prying, but did you know that each morning after dropping you off at work, I return and take your wife and drop her off at a brothel where she works?”…

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The blonde

Judi was driving home one night when she was caught in a bad hail storm. The stones were as big as golf balls. Her car was dented pretty bad. Balking at the price to fix it, Judi was told by the repair shop guy, a smartass by trade, (noticing her bright blonde hair) to blow into the tailpipe REAL HARD when she got home, the dents would pop out. When she got home she started blowing into the tail pipe,…

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The Witch and the spiders

Once there were these three REALLY stupid spiders. All they ever wanted was to be smart. So, one day, they decided that they would go to a witch and see if she could make them smart. “So, you want to be smart,huh?”, the witch asked. “Ok, I will make you smart but first, you must go out and learn three facts by yourselves to prove that you really want to be smart.” The spiders agreed and were on their way.…

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