Why did the turtle …
Why did the turtle cross the road? Because chickens weren’t invented yet.
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Th th th Jokes - page 132
Everything Holds Up Something
My 11 year old daughter and I were getting dressed in the bathroom the other morning. Being an avid gymnast, she hasn’t quite started to develop yet. As I was putting on my bra, she said, “Mom you need a bra to hold up your boobies, but I don’t.” I laughed and said, “Not yet you don’t.” She said, “No, but I got eye-bras to hold up my eyes though!” I laughed hysterically. This is a true story.
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Your mama is so fat… other fat women….
Your mama is so fat that she’s got other fat women orbiting around her.
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Thoughts to Ponder
“Smoking helps you lose weight–one lung at a time!” “If opera is entertainment, the falling off a roof is transportation!” “How come we choose from just two people for president and from 50 for Miss America?”
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Little Johnny Knows The Awful Truth
In school, Little Johnny was told by his classmate that every adult had a dark deep secret and it was easy to blackmail them by just saying, “I know the whole truth.” So, when Little Johnny got home after school, he went straight to his mother and told her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother turned pale and gave Little Johnny $20.00 telling him not to tell his father. Pleased with his new caper, Little Johnny waited for his…
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the jewish coach
Q: What does a Jewish football coach always tell his players? A: Get the quarter back!
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The Agent and the Writer
Agent: Harry, I got some good news and bad news. Writer: Better tell me the good news first. Agent: Paramount loved your script. Just ate it up. Writer: Hey, that’s great. So what’s the bad news? Agent: Paramount’s my dog.
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Beware of the Bull
Out for a walk one afternoon, I came upon a fence around this cow pasture. On this fence was a sign that stated, “Beware of the BULL.” Now I am not one to doubt the warnings on signs, but it did seem to be a shortcut across the pasture to where I wanted to go. I looked very carefully in every direction and no BULL did I see. Weighing the decision very carefully, it seemed that crossing this cow pasture…
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The REAL Creation Story
Moses’ account of creation in the book of Genesis is so familiar and so entrenched in our cultural heritage, that many accept as actual historical fact, the assertion that Woman was created from one of Adam’s ribs. Science has railed against such simple beliefs for centuries. Last week at a dig in the escarpments along the western shore of the Dead Sea, archeologists uncovered ancient, original texts that predate Moses’ writings by 1,300 years. Translated, their account of life’s beginnings…
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The Real McCoy
Every familiar phrase has an origin: Norman Selby boxed under the name “Kid McCoy,” and was world welterweight boxing champion in 1896. The expression “the real McCoy” originated in a barroom brawl when a drunk insisted that the boxer was not who he said he was. McCoy flattened his opponent, who struggled back onto his feet and said, “It’s the real McCoy.”
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