The lift
There was a smart man, a smart woman and santa in a lift. There was a penny in the middle of the lift. Who picks it up? The smart man because the others dont exist.
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Th th th Jokes - page 102
40th Birthday
An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday, and gathered lots of friends and family in his house. His wife had made him a surprise cake, and led her husband blindfolded to a table where the cake was placed. Eagerly the doctor removed and looked down on the cake, and immediately burst into a crazed laughter, for there in front of him was a huge cake, with 40 marzipan eyes! The guest, asked him why he laughed, and after some minutes…
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The Dog?
What do you call a dog with no hind legs & iron testicles? SPARKY!!!
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A pill for the rest of my life
Casey came home from the doctor looking very worried. His wife asked, “What’s the problem?” He said, “The doctor told me I have to take a pill everyday for the rest of my life.” She said, “So what! Lots of people have to take a pill everyday their whole lives.” He said, “I know, but he only gave me four pills.”
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The State of the Union
THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN: “Members of Congress…people of America…I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin flute player in my orchestra, you haven’t been paying attention. The only babes in D.C. I haven’t tried to do are the First Lady, Reno, Albright, and Shalala, mostly because they’re a little older than I like and they…
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The Married Couple
A couple went to bed one night and the wife quickly dozed off to sleep. Her husband started rubbing her shoulder and said, “Honey, are you in the mood tonight?” She replied “I’m sorry, but I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow first thing and I want to stay fresh.” He says, “I understand.” She rolls back over and nods off to sleep again. A few minutes pass and the husband taps her on the shoulder again and wakes her. She…
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The Old Couple
While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finished their meal, the elderly woman left her glasses on the table, but she didn’t miss them until they were back on the highway. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around. The elderly man fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant. He called his wife every bad name he could…
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Top 10 things I resolve to avoid this year
10. Playing Santa at the Center for Bladder Control. 9. Operating a band saw after drinking a 12-pack of beer. 8. Attending All-you-can-eat buffet at Taco Bell the night before that big job interview. 7. Licking red-hot projector bulbs. 6. Midnight ocean swims after attending a crack party. 5. Clicking web links labeled “Your Internet Portal To Hell!” 4. Downloading Fran Drescher MP3 files. 3. Slicing tough, frozen bagels with razor-sharp steak knife, not an FDA-approved bagel slicing device with…
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Little Johnny Versus The Streetwalkers
On his way home from school, Little Johnny always passed by a street corner where a group of prostitutes would be standing around. These streetwalkers would smile and wave their pinkies at Little Johnny while greeting him, “Hello there, cute little boy!” This went on for several days until Little Johnny decided to confront the prostitutes. He asked, “Why do you keep waving your pinkies at me?” The prostitutes laughed out loud and one of them said, “Oh, we were…
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The birth of a candy bar
The birth of a candy bar. One day Mr. Big was feeling down on himself so he took Mrs. Hershey to the Pot o Gold motel on Fifth Ave. He began to feel her Mounds. That was pure Almond Joy. Then she she squeezed his big Turk and grabbed his M n M’s. That made him Snicker and he put his ButterFinger into her Milky Way. She screamed, “You’re even better than the Three Musketeers!” A few months later, she…
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