Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
When I was troubled by my apparent inability to remember certain details, I began to panic. A friend who really cared, suggested I get a computer software program called, “DEVELOP THE POWER OF TOTAL RECALL!” Excitedly, I bought it at a computer store and rushed it home to place in my CD-ROM drive. As soon as I put it in my computer, the following message flashed on my monitor screen; “INSUFFICIENT MEMORY”
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I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar, and my wife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else. After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of…
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An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural history museum. “I’ve just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!” the excited scientist exclaimed. To which the curator replied, “Bring him in. We’ll check it out.” A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. “You were right about the mummy’s age and…
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A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room, they undress, climb into bed, and go at it. When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences a repeat performance. The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When finished, the Chinese…
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A woman awoke during the middle of the night to find her husband missing from the bed. She thought it was strange because he never got up during the middle of the night. Soon about 20 minutes went by and he still hadn’t returned. Somewhat worried she went looking for him. He wasn’t in the bathroom so she went downstairs. He wasn’t in the TV room or the kitchen getting something to eat. Becoming more worried she noticed the basement…
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A pretty blonde woman asks the young male clerk in the drugstore for some bottom deodorant. The clerk, somewhat bemused, explains to the blonde that they don’t sell ‘bottom’ deodorant . . .just the underarm type. The blonde, undismayed, assures the clerk that she has been buying ‘bottom’ deodorant here for several years, is quite satisfied with the product, and would like more. The puzzled clerk asks the phamacist if he can help the young lady. The pharmacist smiles and…
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A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use, on the average, only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day. She thought about this for awhile and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. He said, “What?”
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A masterful forger, this guy definitely was not. News of the Weird reports that in March 1996, 18-year-old dock worker at Roadway Express in Dallas was arrested at a local Western Union and charged with forgery after improperly trying to cash a check made out to his employer. The man produced a photo ID that gave his name as Mr. Roadway V. Express. After questioning him, the Western Union manager said, “OK, Mr. Express, I’ll be right back (with the…
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Here is a great historical instance of out-of-the-box thinking: The renown British physicist Ernest Rutherford was known as the father of nuclear physics. When he was a professor at an English university, he got a call from a colleague who asked if Rutherford would be a referee on the grading of an examination question. This fellow professor was about to give a student a zero for his answer to a physics question while the student claimed he should receive a…
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A man in a bar said to the bartender, “I’ll bet you a hundred bucks I can bite my own eye!” The bartender, convinced this was impossible, accepted. The man pulled out his false teeth, bit his eye gently with them, and replaced them in his mouth. The bartender was pretty upset, but paid the $100. A few minutes later, the man approached the bartender again. “Look,” he said, “I’ll give you a chance to win that hundred back. I’ll…
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