Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. On the fourth move, the man burst out laughing! She complained to the driver and had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man what he had to say for himself.…
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During a routine physical exam, the doctor found his elderly male patient suffering from the effects of old age much sooner than expected. So, he gave the old man this piece of advice, “Your gout is getting much worse. You’ll have to give up drinking, smoking and having sex for a long while.” The old man stared back at his doctor incredulously before blurting out, “What for? So that I can just walk a little better?”
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One evening, Charlie was feeling pretty light-headed from a couple of boilermakers when he rang the bell of the most expensive cat-house in town. “How ya doin’”, he said when the madam answered the door. “I want your mos’ adventurous girl.” The madam ushered him inside and sat him down. “You have to be a little more specific”, she said. “What do you mean by ‘adventurous’?” “Well when I’ve had a couple a lil drinks, sometimes I have a tough…
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Some very important questions to ask yourselves. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called “Poles”, why aren’t people from Holland called “Holes”? If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip’s Screwdriver? Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? If a pig…
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A woman was looking for the perfect gift to give to her husband on his birthday. While in a pet store she just couldn’t decide on what to get. The clerk suggested a big bull frog. “Well, how much is the frog?” asked the woman. “200 Dollars,” replied the clerk. “Why would I spend 200 dollars on a frog?” she replied back. “Well lady,” the clerk said, “This frog gives head!” So as it turns out the woman buys the…
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(Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers) Illiterate? Write today for free help. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. Stock up and save. Limit: one. Semi-Annual…
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Jim loved his new dog until it started bringing home things from all over the neighborhood — things like shoes and hats and kids’ toys — nothing that was that big of a deal. Except for one day the dog brought home a dead rabbit. Jim was shocked later when he found out that the rabbit actually belonged to his neighbor, Sandy, who was at work. Jim took the dead rabbit, washed it and fluffed up its fur and then…
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Mary was having an affair during the day while her husband was at work. One day, she was in bed with her boyfriend Ralph, when she heard her husband’s car pull in the driveway. She yelled at Ralph, “Hurry! grab your clothes and jump out the window, my husband is home early!” Ralph looked out the window and said, “I can’t jump out the window! It’s raining like hell out there.” Mary cried, “If my husband catches us in here,…
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A man on the psychiatrist’s couch tells the doctor that everyone hates him. “Nonsense,” says the doctor. “But tell me why you think everyone hates you.” “For starters,” says the painter. “I’m not white.” “That’s no reason to be hated,” counsels the doctor. “That’s true,” agrees the man on the couch. “But you see, I am also not a Christian.” “Again,” says the doctor. “That’s no reason for people to hate you.” “True,” says the patient. “But then, I am…
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A homophobic father admitted his 5 year old son into a military school because his son drew a picture of a rainbow. After 10 years the son thanked his father for admitting him there because that is where he met his boyfriend.
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