Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
I had to take my son’s hamster to the vet. Here’s what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was “something wrong” with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room. “He’s just lying there looking sick,” he told me. “Oldest trick in the book,” I informed him. “You go in to see what’s wrong with the sick one and the other one sneaks up behind you and bonks you…
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Her husband has been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet his faithful wife stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by…
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A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: “Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, come together again. I come again and pee twice. Den I come one last-a time.” “You foul mouthed swine!” said the lady…
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An alien from Alpha Centauri walks into a Martian restaurant specializing in human brains. He takes a seat and asks the waiter, “What’s your special on human brains?” “Well, we have engineer brains, doctor brains and lawyer brains,” the waiter enumerates. “Hmm. How much are the engineer brains?” “?bout 20 credits an ounce.” “That’s fair. Engineers have college education. How about the doctor brains?” “They cost around 30 credits an ounce.” “That’s also fair. Doctors have to undergo eight years…
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A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking it the monkey jumps all around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just…
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It’s a really busy day at work, so when the wife phones her husband, he says there just isn’t time to talk right now. “Oh, okay,” says his wife. “Just wanted to give you some news and some bad news. Do you have time for either?” The husband answers, “Well, like I said, it’s really a zoo around here. Why don’t you just quickly give me the good news, and I’ll get the bad news tonight when we’re home together?”…
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Mr. Harris was complaining to his brother that someone in his household had been drinking his most expensive brandy on the sly everyday but he had no idea as to who the culprit was. So they discussed the list of usual suspects. They discounted Mr. Harris’ chauffeur as he was with Mr. Harris all the time. They also left out Mr. Harris’ housecleaning maid who came to clean the house only thrice a week. So they narrowed the list down…
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A certain elementary school got a new teacher. This new teacher was an atheist and proud of it. In fact, he was always talking about it, and since the kids were fairly young, he intimidated them. One day he boldly announced, “My mother was an atheist, my father was an atheist and I’m an atheist. How many in this room are atheists?” The kids, being a little scared of him, all raised their hands; all except one little girl. So…
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Karen and Ken, a couple in their mid-fifties, had finally decided to tie the knot. Karen and her girlfriend, Sarah, were discussing the upcoming wedding plans. After describing her beautiful wedding dress, Sarah asked Karen what color her shoes would be. Karen replied, “I thought Silver would be nice.” Ken, the eavesdropping fiancee, had to get his two cents in by retorting, “Yes. Silver will be very nice…it will match your hair!” Sarah, not missing a beat, shot a look…
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Monica was called to testify in the Clinton Impeachment Trial — the Senators wanted a blow by blow account of what happened in the Oval Office.
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