Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Morris asks his son, now aged 10, if he knows about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” the child said, bursting into tears. Confused, the father asked his son what was wrong. “Oh dad,” he sobbed, “at age six I got the ‘there’s no Santa’ speech. At age seven I got the ‘there’s no Easter bunny’ speech. Then at age 8 you hit me with the ‘there’s no tooth fairy’ speech! If you’re going to tell…
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A black cat crosses your path and drops dead. You take an assertiveness training course and you’re afraid to tell your wife. The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm. Your chauffeur is on parole for car theft. You have to take out a loan just to get money for the down payment. Your children’s school calls to surrender. The bride’s family throws rocks instead of rice. Your wife wraps your lunch in a road map. Your plants…
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A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered, with his thumb over the meat. “Are you CRAZY?!” yelled the customer. “Don’t bring my meal with your hand on my steak!” “What!” answers the waiter. “You want it to fall on the floor again?”
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Parents are embarrassing, Take my dad. Every time a friend comes to stay the night, he does something that makes my face go red. Now don’t get me wrong. He is a terrific dad. I love him but sometimes I think he will never grow up. He loves playing practical jokes. This behavior first started one night when Anna came to sleep over. Unknown to me, dad sneaks into my room and puts Doona, our cat, on the spare bed.…
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Two college football players named Bubba and Jed were taking an exam in English Literature. They must pass this exam in order to fulfill the academic requirement. If they fail, they would be dropped from the college varsity team for the whole season. The exam was relatively easy as it consisted mainly of fill-in-the-blank type of answers. However, Bubba was stumped by one particular item. The statement read “Complete the nursery phrase … Ol’ MacDonald had a ______.” Trying as…
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One day a teacher was doing an activity with her students in 3rd grade to figure out if they will think or not. So she goes in the corner and says, “I am holding something orange and round.” A kid then put up his hand and said, “It’s an orange.” “No,” said the teacher, “but it shows that you were thinking.” Then the teacher said, “Now I am holding something red and round.” “It’s an apple,” said a student. “No,”…
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A list of actual English subtitles used in films made in Hong Kong: 1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way. 2. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep. 3. Gun wounds again? 4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin. 5. A normal person wouldn’t steal pituitaries. 6. Damn, I’ll burn you into a BBQ chicken! 7. Take my advice, or I’ll spank you without pants. 8. Who gave you the nerve to…
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Your mama is so fat: :When she hauls ass she has to make two trips. :When she dances she makes the band skip. :When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live. :She puts mayonnaise on aspirin. (
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A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his throat to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.” The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is…
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How To Shower Like A Woman: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so you can complain and whine even more about how you’re getting fat. 4. Get in the shower.…
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