Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Wuz de nite befo Crimmus; And all ower da hood; ereybody wuz’ sleepin’; Dey wuz sleepin’ good. We hunged up our stockings; An hoped like de’ heck; That old Santa Clause; Be bringin’ our check. All o’de fambily; Wuz layin in de beds; While Ripple and Thunderbird; Danced through dey heads. I passed out inna’ flo; Right nex to my Maw; When I heard sech a fuss; I thunk: “It mus be de law!!!” I looked out thru de bars;…
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1. Instead of getting a “General Protection Fault” error, your PC would get “Ferklempt”. 2. “Year 2000” issues are replaced by “Year 5760-5761” issues. 3. Hanukkah screen savers will have “Flying Dreidels”. 4. Your PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings. 5. After your computer dies, you would dispose of it within 24 hours. 6. Your “Start” button would be replaced with a “Let’s go! I’m not getting any younger!” button. 7. “Abort, Retry, Ignore” would be replaced…
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The Chief Rabbi of Israel and the Pope are in a meeting in Rome. The Rabbi notices an unusually fancy phone on a side table in the Pope’s private chambers. “What is that phone for?” he asks the pontiff. “It’s my direct line to the Lord!” The Rabbi is skeptical, and the Pope notices. The Holy Father insists that the Rabbi try it out, and, indeed, he is connected to the Lord. The Rabbi holds a lengthy discussion with Him.…
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Q: How does a man show he’s planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
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One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.” “Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. “My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,” he said. “Excellent, Michael!” Then, the…
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Your momma’s so fat that instead of perfume she uses room deodorizer! Your momma’s so fat that she stepped on a dog’s tail and now we call him “Beaver”!
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Why did the blonde sleep with the Mexican? Her teacher told her to do an essay.
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One day the teacher is explaining to her class about morals. She tells them about how her grandfather would raise chickens and that each morning, he would go out, gather the eggs, put them into cartons and carry them to the supermarket to sale. One day he ran out of cartons, so he put all his eggs into a basket, put the basket onto the back of his truck, and headed into town. Along the way, he hit a pothole,…
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After the resident lion tamer had resigned, the circus placed an ad in the local newspaper for a new lion tamer. On the day of the try-outs, at least fifty men showed up. The audition would have started if not for a young blonde wearing a trench coat who suddenly appeared. She asked the ringmaster for a slot in the try-out and the ringmaster decided to make the blonde try out first. When the young blonde entered the large cage,…
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A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the first intermission he had to use the bathroom in the worst way, so he hurried to find the bathrooms. He searched in vain for the rest rooms, but instead all he found was a beautiful fountain with foliage. Nobody was watching, so he decided to take a go right there. When he finally got back into the auditorium, the second act had already begun. He searched in the dark…
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