Breakfast Humor
Did you hear that Cap’n Crunch was murdered last night? The police are saying it’s a cereal killing!
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Did you hear that Cap’n Crunch was murdered last night? The police are saying it’s a cereal killing!
One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then the man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. By this time, everyone had left the bar and driven off. Finally, he started his engine and…
3 women escaped from prison, a blonde, brunette, and a red head. They sneak into a hayloft for the night. The brunette finds three gunny sacks and the girls put them over themselves. The sheriff comes to the hayloft and tells the deputy to go check it out. He finds the three gunny sacks on the floor and wants to know what is in them. He kicks the first one, the brunette and she quickly says, “bow wow”. So the…
HERS: 1. Pulls off at wrong exit. 2. Opens window 3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer 4. Arrives at destination presently. HIS: 1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it’s the correct one. 2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he’s right. 3. Drives an extra 5 miles just in case. 4. finally rolls down window 5. hocks a loogie 6. pulls up to a 7-11 7. gets three hot-dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky…
The 12 Days Of A Cajun Christmas Day 1: Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it las’ night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow in de swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma. Day 2: Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with andouille an made some gumbo out of dem. Day 3:…
Hank was a not-too-smart kind of guy. Every day when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by three men who would beat him up and steal his money. Finally, Hank decided that it would serve his best interest to walk a different route and then take up some self-defense classes so this wouldn’t happen again. He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well defending himself. So, one day, on the way home from work,…
The teacher said to her students: “Who can give me a sentence with the word sugar in it?” A student raised his hand. “Yes.” “I drank tea last night.” “Where is the word sugar?” the teacher asked. “It melted in the tea.”
20. I’m going to give you ten pence, so you can phone your mum and tell her you won’t be coming home. 19. Why not sit on my lap, and we’ll see if anything comes up. 18. Can I check the label on your bra? Why? To see if those tits really are made in heaven. 17. Your daddy must have been a baker, because you have got a great set of buns. 16. Are your legs tired? Why? Because…
The owner of a small travel agency saw an attractive couple gazing at his travel posters. Suddenly inspired, he ran up and told them his idea. “I’ll give you an all-expenses-paid vacation in exchange for appearing in ads endorsing my agency.” They agreed on the spot. Three weeks later he met them at the airport. While the man checked on their baggage, the travel agent asked the woman about the trip. “The food on the cruise ship was wonderful,” she…
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O’Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she’s in tears. He says, “So what’s bothering you, dear?” She says, “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.” The priest says, “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?” She says, “Aye, That he did, Father…” The priest says, “What did he ask, Mary?” She says, “He said, ‘Please, Mary, put down that damn gun…’”