Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A boy and his stepdad get into an argument. The boy says, “You’re not my father!” The stepdad says, “But I’m sleepin’ with your mother.” The boy says, “Who’s not?” The stepdad snaps back, “Your real father!” The boy retorts. “Guess again!”
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You met him in prison. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway. He tells you that his last good case was a “Budweiser”. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other. He picks the jury by playing “duck-duck-goose.” He tells you that he’s never told a lie. During the trial, you catch him playing his Gameboy. He asks a hostile witness to “pull my finger.” A prison guard is shaving your head. Most…
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Pillsbury Dough Boy wanted for attempted murder A lady named Linda went to Arkansas last week to visit her in-laws, and while there, went to a store. She parked next to a car with a woman sitting in it, her eyes closed and hands behind her head, apparently sleeping. When Linda came out a while later, she again saw the woman, her hands still behind her head but with her eyes open. The woman looked very strange, so Linda tapped…
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A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, “We will all die some day, and none of us really knows when, but if we did, we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event.” Everybody nodded their heads in agreement with this comment. Then the leader said to the group, “What would you do if you knew you had only four weeks of life…
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Q: What has four legs, is green, and smells like pussy? A: A pool table at the White House
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A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the toothy reptile on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons. “I’ll make you all a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the ‘gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth and I’ll remove my dick, unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.” The crowd…
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This man and his son where driving down the road the man pulls out a beer and begins taking a drink, his son asks, “dad, can i have a drink?” his dad replies, “son, can your dick touch your ass?” His son jumps in the back seat then comes back up front, “no, dad it can’t.” “sorry, son you can’t have any!” the boys father then pulls out a ciggarette, “Dad, can I have a drink?” the boy asks. “Can…
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It’s Halloween and little Johnny is Trick-or-Treating and is dressed up as a pirate. He comes up to a house and a nice old lady answers the door. The lady looks at Johnny and says, ‘What a cute pirate. Where are your little buccaneers??’ Johnny looks at the lady and says, ‘They’re under my buck’en (F*****G) hat!!’
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Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am…
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A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for questions. Our intrepid soldier raised his hand and asked, “If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?” “Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area.”
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