Ss Jokes - page 33

Well, who saw this coming? ? After vowing to curb immigration and ‘shore up Irish culture,’ a famous mixed martial arts fighter has officially pulled out of Ireland’s presidential race. Apparently, the world of politics isn’t quite like the octagon. The fighter complained that the nomination rules were a ‘straitjacket,’ preventing a ‘true democratic contest.’ It seems the rigorous process of, you know, running a country, was a bit too much for someone who prefers headlocks to legislative loopholes. He…

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Teen Star, 14, Snags Emmy for First Role, Leaving Veteran Actors Wondering What They’re Doing Wrong! ? This pint-sized powerhouse, who was barely old enough to reach the snacks table on set, just made history at the 2025 Emmys. ? For his role in ‘Adolescence,’ this actor became the youngest-ever winner for best supporting actor in a limited series. The best part? It was his first professional credit! While seasoned performers have been toiling away for decades, this 14-year-old basically…

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France Gets a ‘Sad Face’ on Its Financial Report Card as Debt Climbs and Leaders Argue Over the Check. ? Fitch, the no-nonsense financial principal, has officially given France a less-than-stellar grade, downgrading its credit rating from a ‘respectable’ AA- to a ‘just-passing’ A+. This marks France’s lowest score on record at a major agency, making efforts to control national finances as complicated as trying to assemble IKEA furniture with missing instructions. ?? A leader resembling President Macron and his…

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Well, that was awkward! ???? Australia’s police forces geared up for a massive ‘Day of Protests,’ complete with pepper spray at the ready, only to discover most of the anticipated ‘rabble-rousers’ apparently hit the snooze button. The streets, prepped for epic brawls, instead saw a smattering of folks airing diverse grievances – everything from vaccine hesitancy to calls for racial justice. It was less of a showdown and more of a modest stroll, leaving officers with plenty of unused riot…

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In a casting decision that has us all chuckling into our tea, the artist known professionally as Self Esteem is set to embrace her inner turmoil as a “raging rock star” in a revival of David Hare’s ‘Teeth ’n’ Smiles’. ? It seems even those with stellar self-worth can channel pure, unadulterated stage fury! Rebecca Lucy Taylor, the woman behind the wonderfully ironic moniker, will tackle the role of Maggie in a 50th-anniversary production hitting London in March. Fun fact:…

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Jail Time? Pffft, This Political Movement Sees It as a Mere Pit Stop on the Road to 2026. ? It seems that even the threat of incarceration is no match for the sheer determination (or perhaps stubbornness?) of this political dynasty. Remember when a certain politician boldly predicted his possible fates as ‘going to jail, being killed or victory’? ? Well, it appears the ‘going to jail’ option is just a minor plot twist in this epic political saga! With…

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Suspended Pride Leader Ordered to Unlock Bank Accounts AND Social Media, Apparently Forgot How to Share! ? Well, this is a bit awkward. A top figure at London’s Pride parade, who is currently fending off accusations of using the organization’s cash like his personal piggy bank, just got a stern order from the high court. ???? He’s been told to relinquish control of everything: Bank accounts (naturally, for obvious reasons) Social media passwords (because who needs separate lives for their…

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? Breaking News from the Eternal City! A Rome woman has been officially banned from feeding her feathered friends after neighbours declared their apartment block a literal ‘Hitchcockian pigeon hell.’ Talk about taking ‘going to the birds’ a bit too far! ? Rome’s mayor, no doubt accustomed to dealing with ancient ruins and traffic, has now had to step in to stop the avian apocalypse. Furious residents claimed they were quite literally drowning in feathers and guano (that’s fancy bird…

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Canada’s Liberal government has revealed its master plan to ‘turbocharge’ the nation’s economy – and apparently, that means strapping a nuclear reactor, a bunch of critical mineral mines, and an LNG facility to it! ? This ambitious first wave of national projects aims to propel Canada forward while simultaneously fending off a pesky trade war with the United States. ? Curiously, the unveiled list conspicuously avoids any mention of new oil pipelines, projects that have proven more divisive than a…

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Well, that didn’t take long! ? France’s brand-new Prime Minister barely had time to find the coffee machine before being welcomed by the infamous ‘Block Everything’ protests. One Parisian teacher quipped, “Bayrou was ousted, now his policies must be eliminated!” – demanding more funds for schools and hospitals, naturally. But it was unionist Amar Lagha who stole the show, dramatically declaring to Reuters: “This day is a message… that there is no resignation, the fight continues, and a message to…

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