Ss Jokes - page 31

Safe Cross Code

These two drunks stumble out of a pub in Ireland at about 4:00 in the morning. They stagger to the nearest lamppost and lean against it when along comes a policeman. The first drunk pipes up, “Excuse me, ossifer, but I wonder could you tell me if the last bus to Dublin has left yet.” To which the policeman replies “Of course it has. It’s 4:00 in the morning.” The second drunk then weighs in and says, “Sorry, sir, but…

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Russian Vodka

Russian Vodka A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a genie. The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, “Hello Master, I will grant you one wish, anything that you want.” The Russian begins thinking, “Well I really like drinking vodka.” Finally the Russian says, “I wish to drink vodka whenever I want, so make me piss vodka.” The Genie grants him his wish.…

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illness

A man goes to the doctor and says: Doc, you have to help me. Sometimes I wake up and feel like Mickey Mouse, sometimes I wake up and feel goofy. The doc asks: How long have you had these Disney spells?

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British Museum’s Not-So-Original Problem Inspires ‘Provocative’ Prize-Winning Tale About a Replica

British Museum’s Not-So-Original Problem Inspires ‘Provocative’ Prize-Winning Tale About a Replica. Piyumi Kapugeekiyana’s literary triumph dives deep into the thorny issues of repatriation and cultural ownership, but here’s the kicker: it’s all told through the eyes of a replica of the goddess T?r?. ? Talk about meta-commentary! The winning story’s title, ‘The Original Is Not Here,’ pretty much sums up the entire debate in one perfectly cheeky phrase. ? It seems even fictional statues are getting in on the act…

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Read JokeBritish Museum’s Not-So-Original Problem Inspires ‘Provocative’ Prize-Winning Tale About a Replica

Baillie Gifford Prize Shortlist Reveals It’s Not Just Books, It’s a Safari of ‘Horny Wolves, Eunuchs, and Pirates’!

Well, move over, weighty biographies and profound philosophical treatises! The prestigious Baillie Gifford prize has unveiled a shortlist that reads less like a literary award and more like the guest list for the world’s most interesting (and slightly unhinged) dinner party. ? We’re talking ‘horny wolves, eunuchs, and pirates’ all vying for top nonfiction honors. Apparently, authors like Helen Garner and Richard Holmes are at the forefront of this wild ride, with their nonfiction books not only exploring these… diverse…

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Read JokeBaillie Gifford Prize Shortlist Reveals It’s Not Just Books, It’s a Safari of ‘Horny Wolves, Eunuchs, and Pirates’!

Italian ‘Art Police’ Raid Dalí Show, Discovering a Surreal 21 Suspected Fakes

Italian ‘Art Police’ Raid Dalí Show, Discovering a Surreal 21 Suspected Fakes. It seems even the world of high art isn’t immune to a good old-fashioned ‘oops!’ moment! ? Italy’s specialized art squad, the Carabinieri, swooped into a Parma exhibition dedicated to none other than the master of surrealism himself, Salvador Dalí. The mission? To confiscate a whopping 21 works that are now under heavy suspicion of being about as authentic as a mustache glued onto a potato. ? The…

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Read JokeItalian ‘Art Police’ Raid Dalí Show, Discovering a Surreal 21 Suspected Fakes

Jane Fonda Says ‘History Repeats Itself,’ Resurrects Her Father’s McCarthy-Era Free Speech Group

Jane Fonda says ‘History Repeats Itself,’ resurrects her father’s McCarthy-era free speech group! ? It seems some things never change! After decades, the iconic actor is dusting off the old ‘Committee for the First Amendment,’ originally founded by her legendary father during the very real, very paranoid McCarthy era. Now, with a fresh batch of A-list celebrities joining the cause, it appears the fight for free speech is back on the red carpet, ? spurred on by what are being…

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Read JokeJane Fonda Says ‘History Repeats Itself,’ Resurrects Her Father’s McCarthy-Era Free Speech Group

D’oh! The Simpsons Movie Sequel Finally Arrives Two Decades Later (Fans Wonder if Homer Remembers the Plot)

The Simpsons Movie Sequel Finally Arrives Two Decades Later, proving that good things (or at least, long-awaited things) come to those who wait… and wait… and wait some more. ? The much-anticipated (or perhaps, by now, casually remembered) film is slated for release in 2027, precisely 20 years after the original cinematic masterpiece that briefly took Springfield to the big screen. Imagine that – 20 years! That’s enough time for Maggie to go through college, Bart to finally finish fourth…

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Read JokeD’oh! The Simpsons Movie Sequel Finally Arrives Two Decades Later (Fans Wonder if Homer Remembers the Plot)

South Korea’s Digital Woes Go Up in Smoke: A Battery Fire Sparks Cyber-Panic and a ‘Caution’ Alert

South Korea’s Digital Woes Go Up in Smoke: A Battery Fire Sparks Cyber-Panic and a ‘Caution’ Alert. Talk about adding insult to injury! ? Just when you thought your biggest problem was a massive, nationwide system outage thanks to a rather inconvenient battery fire at a government data center, South Korea’s intelligence agency has decided it’s time to worry about hackers too. Apparently, the chaos from a good old-fashioned blaze (yes, a fire, in a data center!) is just the…

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Read JokeSouth Korea’s Digital Woes Go Up in Smoke: A Battery Fire Sparks Cyber-Panic and a ‘Caution’ Alert