Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two guys are sitting at a table in a bar checking out the ladies. They are talking about how the second guy can never seem to pick up any women, so the first guy decides to show him how. “Watch,” he says. I’ll go pick up some women, you watch and learn. “Ok,” says the second guy. The first guy slides up next to a pretty young blonde woman at the bar. He says, “Tickle your ass with a feather?”…
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There was Claudia Schiffer, an Englishman, and an Irishman sitting in a carriage of a real old fashioned train with no lights. When they went through a tunnel, it was all dark. Suddenly, there was a kissing noise and the sound of a slap. When they came out of the tunnel, the Englishman was sitting with his hand on his cheek as if he had been slapped. He was thinking: The Irish fella must’ve kissed Claudia Schiffer and when she…
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A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large.” Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.” The conversation has, meanwhile,…
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TOP TEN REASONS WHY WOMEN REJECT MEN AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN 10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in “Deliverance.”) 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You are one jurassic geezer.) 8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes upon.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don’t want you spending the whole night or else…
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The tensions of life were threatening to get a strangle hold on Bill, and after he’d finished a good dinner, he relaxed mindlessly in a soft chair next to the stereo, with a stiff drink in his hand. His wife knew nothing of his nervous state, and she climbed onto his lap with the thought of trying to wheedle a fur coat out of him, and snuggled and murmured and fondled. “Good Heavens, Hillary,” he exploded, “Get off! I get…
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A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a Rabbi, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Torah a little and get your hair cut and we’ll talk about it.” After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss…
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A teacher once stood up and said to her class, “Anyone who thinks that they are stupid, please stand up.” No one stood up for a few seconds and then in the back of the room, little Jimmy rose. “Jimmy, why do you think you are stupid?” The teacher asked. Jimmy quickly replied, “Oh I don’t think that, I just didn’t want you standing up there by yourself!”
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Even though I was an engineering student at the University of Maryland, chemistry was a required course in my day. The Professor, on the first day of class, asked everyone to name the most outstanding contribution chemistry had made to society. When my turn came, I answered, “Blondes!”
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A Texan was trying to impress a guy from Boston with an account of the heroism at the Alamo. He says, “I guess you don’t have many heros where you’re from?” The Bostonian replies, “Well, have you heard of Paul Revere?” And the Texan says, “Paul Revere? Isn’t he the guy who ran for help?”
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After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the Department of Motor Vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son. I brought my selection – a baseball bat – to the cash register. “Cash or charge?” the clerk asked. “Cash,” I snapped. Then apologizing for my rudeness, I explained, “I’ve spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau.” “Shall I giftwrap the bat?” the clerk asked sweetly. “Or…
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