Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Dear Mom and Dad: It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in nothaving written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before youread on, please sit down. YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN. OKAY! Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when…
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There was a young couple who had driven their car up to a secluded spot that overlooked the city. They made out and eventually ended up naked in the back seat of the car. It began to rain in sheets. The man said to the lady, “We should probably go before this storm gets too bad.” They climbed into the front seat and started the car. When he pushed on the gas the tires just spun and the car didn’t…
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A 90 year old man married a very young woman. Upon staying for 6 months together the wife of this old man conceived. The old man asked his doctor, “How this could have happened?” The doctor then said, “Look here, let me tell you a story.” An absent minded hunter went in the forest hunting; but instead of carrying a gun the fellow carried an umbrella. He saw a lion running straight at him. The hunter picked up his umbrella…
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A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree. The leaf had been pressed in between pages. “Momma, look what I found”, the boy called out. “What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy’s voice he answered:…
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The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. “I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o’clock in the morning?” “There is, he replied. “Breakfast.”
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Support Cannibalism – EAT ME! 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it’s an amusement park. If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit. I wasn’t born a bastard. Women like you made me this way. Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot, either! Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?…
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An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the eye and said, “I’ve some bad new for you … you have the cancer and it can’t be cured. I’d give you two weeks to a month.” Murphy shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor’s office into the waiting room. There he saw his…
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This elderly couple, that lived in Ohio, was driving back from Alabama where they were on vacation. The wife is hard of hearing. But on there way they got stop for speeding in Kentucky. Well the cop comes to the window and says “Sir do you know you were speeding” and the wife asks ” WHAT DID HE SAY?” the husband replies “He said we were speeding” the wife says “oh” The cop looks at the man drivers license and…
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A man went to his doctor seeking help for his terrible addiction to cigars. The doctor was quite familiar with his very compulsive patient, so recommended an unusual and quite drastic form of aversion therapy. “When you go to bed tonight, take one of your cigars, unwrap it, and stick it completely up your asshole. Then remove it, rewrap it, and place it back with all the others in such a fasion as you can’t tell which one it is.…
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One day this fine couple of tomatoes are walking down this long and narrow street where there are many cars coming by. At some point in this crossing one of the tomatoes gets squished by one of the cars. The other tomato being sarcastic says: “Come on, get up, Ketchup.”
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