Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him. He inquired of God, “Where were you?” God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds. “Look son, look what I’ve made”. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?” God replied, “It’s a planet and I’ve put LIFE on it. I’ve named it Earth and there is a balance between everything on…
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British conductor and organist Sir Malcolm Sargent was chief conductor at the London Promenade Concerts during the last century, and did much to bring classical music alive for younger audiences. As he was preparing to leave the Albert Hall in London after a concert one evening, Sir Malcolm overheard the following brief exchange between two young girls: “How I envy Sir Malcolm.” “You mean his conducting?” “Oh, no, not that. I mean his neat little flat behind.”
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A soldier, filled with obvious triumph, returned from his twenty-four hour pass and was besieged by his buddies who wanted to know, in detail, how he had made out. The soldier, nothing loath, said gleefully, “What a piece of fuckin’ luck I had. I hadn’t been off camp more than half an hour when I met this fuckin’ broad and she was STACKED! We got to talking and I took her out for some fuckin’ hamburgers. Then we went to…
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I don’t know how they wrote this with a straight face. This apparently was a real memo sent at a computer company to its employees in all seriousness… This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor. Subject: “Mouse Balls” Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit). Therefore, if a mouse fails to…
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On the back of a shirt, there is a sentence thats too small to see, unless u go right up the the persons shirt to see it. Its says: nosey little fucker, aren’t ya?
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On 23 August 1779, the USS Constitution set sail from Boston, loaded with 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of water, 74,000 cannon shot, 11,500 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum. Her mission: to destroy and harass English shipping. On 6 October, she made Jamaica, took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum. Three weeks later, Constitution reached the Azores, where she provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 2,300 gallons of Portuguese wine.…
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A little girl was watching her parents dress for a formal party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.” “And why not, Darling?” “You know that it always gives you a headache next morning.”
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Two elderly men are out driving in a large car, and both can barely see over the dashboard. As they are cruising along they come to an intersection. The stoplight is red but they just go sailing on through. The man in the passenger seat thinks to himself, “I must be losing my mind. I swear we just went through a red light.” They come to another intersection and the light is red again, but again they go right through.…
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A young man goes into a store and asks the clerk for a nice Polish sausage. The clerk looks at him and asks, “Are you Polish?”. The young man says “Yes I am, but if I’d asked for an Italian sausage, would you have asked if I was Italian, or if I’d asked for a German sausage, would you have asked if I was German, or if I’d asked for tacos, would you have asked if I was Mexican?” The…
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Comedian Jack Benny was very proud of the fact that a school in his home town of Waukegan, Illinois was named after him. He made a point of visiting it and speaking to the children whenever he was in the neighborhood. Some years after the school was opened, Benny found himself addressing a class of twelve-year-olds. His speech over, he asked if there were any questions. One little boy immediately put up his hand. “Mr. Benny,” he asked, “why did…
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