Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, “I like both.” “Both?” said the artist. Engineer: “Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress,they will each assume…
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One day at the carp fair there was a shovel throwing competition. The first contestant gets up and throws the shovel 100 yards. The shovel throwing judge says,” Wow what a toss, that was better than anyone at the last fair, do you mind if I ask what you do for a living?” The guy says,” My grandfather was a farmer, my daddy’s a farmer and I’m a farmer; we shovel shit all day long, I guess I just got…
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EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts. SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not. CROSSEYES: Looks into next urinal to see how other guy is hung. TIMID: Cannot piss if someone is wastching, flushes urinal, comes back later. INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink. CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor. FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down, and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug. WORRIED:…
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The young Ensign approached the crusty old Chief and asked him about the origin of the commissioned office insignias. “Well, Ensign, it’s history and tradition. First, we give you a gold bar representing that you’re valuable, BUT malleable. The silver bar of a Lieutenant Junior Grade represents value, but less malleable. When you make Lieutenant, you’re twice as valuable, so we give you two silver bars.” “As a Captain, you soar over military masses, hence the eagle. As an Admiral,…
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An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all to give a speechs to the Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience. The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by rubbing his chest and then his groin. When he finished the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing. “Well,” he explained” By rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated…
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The death of Princess Di is one of those circumstances in life that you will always remember where you were. For me I was at a party. There was a lot of drinking going on and I was beyond hammered. One lady at the party came screaming and crying, “Lady Di has been killed! The papparazzi have killed Lady Di.” My response was “Papparazzi, that fat, opera singing bastard.”
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Back in the early 60’s, a young fellow walked into a talent agent’s office and said he wanted to break into show-biz. The agent said, “O.K. kid, show me what you can do.” The kid told some jokes, did a little soft shoe, sang a bit, did an acrobatic act with an ottoman and was good enough to impress the agent. “Great kid! Just great!” said the agent. “I can do things for you! I think I can get you…
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Remember the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? Well, here is a prime example offered by an English professor at Southern Methodist University, English 44A, SMU, Creative Writing, Prof. Miller. __________________________________ In-class Assignment for Wednesday: Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a…
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A local radio station, WINO, is running a competition to find contestants who can come up with words that are not found in any English Dictionary yet can still use these words in a sentence that will make logical sense; the prize being a trip for two to Bali for a week. The DJ, Sam, has many callers, the following two standing out: DJ : WINO, what’s your name? Caller: Hi, my name’s Dave. DJ: Dave, what is your word?…
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HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME 1. Both take up too much space on the bed. 2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning. 3. Both mark their territory. 4. Neither tells you what’s bothering them. 5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous. 6. Neither does any dishes. 7. Both fart shamelessly. 8. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut. 9. Both like dominance games. 10. Both are suspicious of the postman. 11. Neither…
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