Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Hello, my name is Jonathan McKenzie. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before…
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Things you shouldn’t say to a cop Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. And that hooker I met at the AIDS clinic said you were a nice guy. Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125mph to keep up with me! Good job! That uniform makes your ass look really big. Excuse me. Is “stick up” hyphenated? I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer. You don’t happen…
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A manager of a company was told that he needed to cut back on the number of employees in a certain office. He felt horrible about this but knew that the two most expendable employees he had were Amy and Jack. He couldn’t decide which of the two empoyees to fire, so he divised this plan. Whichever person he saw walk to the water dispenser first the next morning he would have to fire. Well it turns out that Amy…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, “Who here has seen a ghost?” Most hands went up. “And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?” About half the hands remained up. “Okay, now how many of you have had physical contact with a ghost?” Three hands stayed up, and there was a slight murmur in the crowd. “Well, that’s very interesting. Let me ask if any of you have, how…
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* Horn broken. Watch for finger. * Keep honking…I’m reloading. * Your kid may be an honors student, but you’re still an idiot. * All generalizations are false. * Cover me. I’m changing lanes. * I brake for no apparent reason. * Learn from your parents’ mistakes – use birth control. * I’m not as think as you drunk I am. * Forget about World Peace…Visualize using your turn signal. * We have enough youth, how about a fountain of…
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Dear Jenny, Ann Landers wouldn’t print this. I have nowhere else to turn. I have to get the word out. Warn other parents. I must be rambling on. Let me try and explain. It’s about my son, Billy. He’s always been a good, normal ten-year-old boy. Well, last spring we sat down after dinner to select a summer camp for Billy. We sorted through the camp brochures. There were the usual camps with swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the campfire,…
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Doctor : I have a bad news and an even worse news for you, Mr. Johnson. Johnson : Well..I’m ready. What’s the bad one? Doctor : You have a tumor in your brain, and about 24 hours left to live. Johnson : Now, what possibly can be a worse news than that? Doctor : Well..I’m very sorry Mr. Johnson. It’s just that I should’ve told that yesterday.
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In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the Points System. —————————————— SIMPLE DUTIES: Making The Bed: You make the bed …………………………………………+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows……..0 You throw the…
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This story occurred on Melbourne radio. One of the FM stations had a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three personal questions, ring their spouse or partner, ask them the same three questions, if the answers are the same, the couple win a holiday to Bali. The competition went like this: Presenter: Gidday its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game ? Brian: Yeah, sure. Presenter: O.K., Question 1 – When was the last time you had…
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