Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Just recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in my community to be a judge at a chili cookoff because no one else wanted to do it. Also, the original person called in sick at the last minute and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy,…
(0)
Loading...
As an ex-telemarketer, a couple of incidents happened to me… Let me share them with ya! Me: Hi, may I speak to Mr. Jones? Mr: Speaking. Me: This is Susan calling from Mutual Medical Insurance. Mr: Am I insured with you? Me: No, but we’re calling to offer you a medical plan, which will take care of almost all your medical expences. Mr: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Me: We’re calling to offer you a medical plan, which will…
(0)Loading...
1: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block! 2: What do you say to a blonde that won’t give in? “Have another beer.” 3: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine? “Daddy! I want to go to Miami 4: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don’t exist and the…
(2)Loading...
“Information. May I help you?” “I’d like the number of the Theatre Guild, please.” “One moment, please. (Pause) I’m sorry, Sir, but I have no listing for a Theodore Guild.” “No, no. Is isn’t a person. It’s an organization. It’s Theater Guild.” “I told you, Sir, I have no listing for a Theodore Guild.” “Not *Theodore!* *Theater!* The word is *Theater.* T-H-E-A-T-E-R!” “That, SIR, is NOT the way you spell *Theodore.*” Giving up, the man said, “OK. Then give me…
(0)Loading...
The old gent was backing his Rolls into the last available parking space when a zippy red sports car whipped in behind him to take the spot. The young driver jumped out and said, “Sorry, Pops, but you’ve got be young and smart to do that!” The old man ignored the remark and kept reversing until the Rolls had crunched the sports car into a crumpled heap. “Sorry, Son, you’ve got be old and rich to do THAT!”
(1)Loading...
After having been commissioned by God to take a survey of how man was doing on Earth, St. Peter now stood before his boss ready to present his findings. “Tell me, St. Peter, what have you found out?” God asked. “I’m very sorry to have to tell you this, but the people are behaving in a sinful manner. There’s drugs, alcohol, murders, you name it. A regular Sodom and Gomorrah. But the worst is this new obsession with oral sex.…
(1)Loading...
“How to Keep the Wackiness Alive in the Modern Workplace, Part I” ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document. Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but you didn’t have time for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during he meeting. During the meeting, eat 5 entire raw potatoes. Insist that your e-mail address be “[email protected]” Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him/her…
(0)Loading...
The Nice Guy 1. How do you typically look when you arrive to pick up your date? A. I wear my church clothes B. I like to dress up. Sometimes I bring a small present or flowers C. I dress casually unless I am very impressed with the woman D. I’m late, dress as I want, and if I bring anything it’s a sixpack of beer E. I take a knife 2.”Women are special.” Is this statement true? A. Yes,…
(1)Loading...
January 10: It’s 5pm. It’s starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one we’ve seen in many years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window watching the snow flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was so pristine and beautiful. Things could not be any better. January 11: We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a…
(0)Loading...
Note: This lightning-fast exchange REALLY HAPPENED! It occurred during a parent/teacher conference for our son, and it made some jaws drop. Sometimes a person gets lucky–and the PERFECT comeback shoots out of one’s mouth almost without thinking. 🙂 –> During a parent/teacher conference at our son’s school, his teacher solemnly informed us: “I’m sorry to say that Dylan is having problems with three-letter words in the book at school.” “But that’s impossible!” I heard myself quipping. “He knows every FOUR-LETTER…
(0)Loading...