Sm Jokes - page 78

kids’ books that never quite made circulation

Children’s books that never quite made it into circulation “You Are Different and That’s Bad” “Dad’s New Wife Timothy” “Pop! Goes The Hamster….And Other Great Microwave Games” “Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Household Pets” “The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad” “Babar Meets the Taxidermist” “Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence” “The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables” “Start a Real-Estate Empire With the Change From Your Mom’s Purse” “The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy” “Things…

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Read Jokekids’ books that never quite made circulation

ACCIDENT

Fred was a tired, overworked traveling salesman who’d been making sales calls all day and hadn’t even stopped for lunch. At about four o’clock he pulled into the crowded parking lot of a large plaza, thinking he could get a bite in the food court. He circled around several times looking for a parking space when he finally spied one close to the entrance. He was carefully backing in when a young guy driving a Porche, who obviously saw Fred,…

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Telemarketing experiences…

As an ex-telemarketer, a couple of incidents happened to me… Let me share them with ya! Me: Hi, may I speak to Mr. Jones? Mr: Speaking. Me: This is Susan calling from Mutual Medical Insurance. Mr: Am I insured with you? Me: No, but we’re calling to offer you a medical plan, which will take care of almost all your medical expences. Mr: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Me: We’re calling to offer you a medical plan, which will…

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US Tourists

As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. “America,” the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded. “She’s not from the States.” “Yes I am.” said the wife. He looked at her and asked, “Is he your husband?” “Yes,” she…

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Rabid Man

The tough businessman was feeling very ill and went to see the doctor. The doc examined him and backed away, saying, “I’m extremely sorry to tell you this, but you have an advanced case of highly infectious rabies. You must have had it for some time. It will almost certainly be fatal.” In shock, the man said, “Could you give me a pen and paper?” “Do you want to write your will?” “No, I want to make a list of…

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How is Married Life?

Not long after his marriage, Ernie Junior and his father, Ernie Senior, met for lunch. “Well, son,” asked Ernie Senior, “How is married life treating you?” “Not very well, I’m afraid,” sighed Junior. “It seems I married a nun.” “A nun?” his father questioned. “That’s right,” moaned Ernie Junior, “none in the morning, none at night, and none at all unless I beg!” Ernie Senior nodded, knowingly, and slapped his boy on the back a couple of times. “Why don’t…

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If Men Ruled the World……

Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a timeout. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a “Nice hustle, you’ll get ’em next time” would pretty much do it. The…

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2 spinsters at the movies

One day this farm boy goes to town to buy a new rooster. While he is walking around town with his new rooster he sees a movie he would like to see, but he knows that they won’t let his rooster in . So he thinks, “I know, I’ll just put him in the bib of my overalls and they will just think I’m fat.” So he puts the rooster in his overalls, buys a ticket and goes in. Well,…

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Read Joke2 spinsters at the movies