Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton and Al Gore are driving through the country when suddenly their car breaks down. They then walk to the nearest farm where the farmer offers them a room for the night. Unfortunately, there is only room for two people to stay in there so says that one of them will have to sleep in the barn. Al Gore offers to sleep in there. At about midnight there is a knock on the door. Al is standing…
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I love my master; Thus I perfume myself with This long-rotten squirrel. I lie belly-up In the sunshine, happier than You ever will be Today I sniffed Many dog behinds – I celebrate By kissing your face. I sound the alarm! Paper boy – come to kill us all Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! I sound the alarm! Garbage man – come to kill us all Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! I lift my leg and Whiz on each bush.…
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A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. “Is this the vet?” asked an elderly lady’s voice. “Yes, it is”, replied the vet, “Is this an emergency?” “Well, sort of”,…
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“I hope you didn’t take it personally, Reverend,” an embarrassed woman said after a church service, “when my husband walked out during your sermon.” “I did find it rather disconcerting,” the preacher replied. “It’s not a reflection on you,” insisted the church goer. “Ralph has been been walking in his sleep since childhood.”
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My husband was just coming out of anesthesia after having surgery in the hospital, and I was sitting at his bedside. His eyes started to open and he quietly uttered, “You’re beautiful.” He soon drifted back to sleep, and after awhile he woke up and said, “You’re cute.” “What happened to beautiful?” I asked him. “The drugs are wearing off,” he replied.
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Fred goes to a doctor and says, “Doc, I want to be castrated.” Doc says, “Look, I don’t know what kind of cult you’re into or what your motives are, but I’m not going to do that sort of operation.” Fred says, “Doc, I’m not in any cult, I just want to be castrated, and I’m a little embarrassed about talking about it, but I have $50,000 cash right here. Will you do it?” Doc says, “Well, OK, I guess…
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Dear Jenny, Ann Landers wouldn’t print this. I have nowhere else to turn. I have to get the word out. Warn other parents. I must be rambling on. Let me try and explain. It’s about my son, Billy. He’s always been a good, normal ten-year-old boy. Well, last spring we sat down after dinner to select a summer camp for Billy. We sorted through the camp brochures. There were the usual camps with swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the campfire,…
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One night I was in this all-night diner and this is what I heard the guy in the next booth say to the waitress: “No more decaf for me or I’ll be asleep all night.”
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You receive a $300 bill from your tree surgeon and you live in an apartment. The plumber tells you it would be cheaper to install a diving board than to drain the cellar. You bear a striking resemblance to this week’s prime suspect on America’s Most Wanted. The Dialing for Dollars host quizzes you about the only John Wayne film you haven’t seen. Your heart medication has been replaced with sugar pills and a note that says “April fools!” You…
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One night a wife found her husband standing over their newborn baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arms around her husband. “A penny for your thoughts,” she whispered in his ear. “It’s amazing!” he replied. “I just can’t see…
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