Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A little boy woke up crying and ran to see his mother. “Mummy, Mummy. A voice came to me in my sleep. It said that my grandmother would die today.” The mother comforted him and told him not to worry, it was only a dream. But when he came home from school, he found his mum crying. She said that her mother had died a few hours ago. That night the voice returned. This time it said that the house…
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California winery Franzia has a product out called “Franzia’s Wine-In-A-Box.” It’s a great product for the homeless, because they can get drunk, and then have a place to sleep it off. Most homeless people eat dinner by scrounging through dumpsters. Like most Americans, they’re on a junk-food diet. You’d think that homeless people could get jobs at the supermarket pushing carts around, but they have no experience pushing them around empty…..you give a homeless guy a row of shopping carts…
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A couple went to bed one night and the wife quickly dozed off to sleep. Her husband started rubbing her shoulder and said, “Honey, are you in the mood tonight?” She replied “I’m sorry, but I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow first thing and I want to stay fresh.” He says, “I understand.” She rolls back over and nods off to sleep again. A few minutes pass and the husband taps her on the shoulder again and wakes her. She…
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I saw a news report that said 90% of all accidents occur within 10 miles of home…So, I’ve decided to move. I couldn’t decide whether to by a humidifier or a de-humidifier. So, I bought one of each and put them in the same room. I’m gonna just let them fight it out. They built a freeway around my house. Now I have to drive 55 mph down my driveway. I got a dog last week, and I named him…
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January 10: It’s 5pm. It’s starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one we’ve seen in many years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window watching the snow flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was so pristine and beautiful. Things could not be any better. January 11: We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a…
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DATING: The process of spending enormous amounts of time, money, and effort to get better acquainted with a person whom you don’t especially like at present and will learn to lake a lot less in the future. EASY: A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man. EYE CONTACT: A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women…
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I was playing golf one morning and a friend asked if he could play a round against me. I told him, “Sure. What time do you want me to meet you here?” He said, “Nine o’ clock … Maybe nine o’ five.” Sure enough, the next day he is there to tee off at nine o’ clock sharp. He tees off right-handed and I tee off right-handed. We played eighteen holes and he beat me by two strokes. I congratulated…
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A man is out in the wilderness and he’s hopelessly lost. It’s been nearly three weeks since he’s eaten anything besides what he could forage and he’s been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees. One afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the woods. It has vines covering most of it and the man can’t see any other buildings in the area. However, he sees smoke coming out of the chimney implying someone is home. He knocks…
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YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…
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Last week my son came up to me and asked me the difference between potential and reality. I told him to go to his mum and ask if she’d sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars, and then to go to his sister, and ask if she’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. He did just that. He went up to my wife and said, “Would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million?” to which she…
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