Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One time when I was home visiting my folks, my mom asked me to set the table. I opened the refrigerator and, taped to the inside of the door, was a risque picture of a lovely, slender, perfect-built, but scantily-clad, young woman. “Mom, what’s this? I asked. “Oh, I put that up there to remind me not to over-eat,” she answered. “Is it working?” I asked. “Well, yes and no,” she replied. “I’ve lost 15 pounds, but your dad has…
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Little Johnny and Jane are playing in the garden when they start having an argument about whether boys are better than girls. After a while Johnny stands up and pulls down his shorts saying, “Boys are better than girls ‘cos you haven”t got one of these!!” Jane looks at him in astonishment as she knows that she hasn’t got one of those between her legs. She bursts out crying and rushes inside to her mother. A little while later she…
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A midget sidles up to a tall blonde and says, “Hey, what do you say to a little fuck?” She says, “Hello, you Little Fuck.”
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A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance: 1. a woman 2. a donkey 3. a shovel 4. a fish 5. a Star of David They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least more than three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum…
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Bill Clinton Statue Committee 1040 Buffoon Street Little Rock, AR 72205 Dear Friend: We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for raising 5 million dollars for placing a statue of Bill Clinton in the hall of fame in Washington, DC. This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue. It was not wise to place it beside George Washington, who never told a lie, nor beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth,…
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My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth–that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally–but I didn’t want to upset him. I once heard the voice of God. It said “Vrrrrmmmmm.” (Unless it was just a lawn mower.) I don’t know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine…
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President Calvin Coolidge once invited friends from his hometown to dine at the White House. Worried about their table manners, the guests decided to do eveything that Coolidge did. This strategy succeeded for awhile, until coffee was served. The President poured his coffee in the saucer. The guests did the same. Coolidge added sugar and cream. So did his guests. Then Coolidge bent over and put his saucer on the floor for his cat.
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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the…
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn’t live there. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? (Jared: what do you think?) Whatever happened to preparations A through G? If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? I went…
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There’s something everyone should know: On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-and-cattle ranch outside Roswell, NM, an incident they say has been covered up by the military. On March 31, 1948, nine months after that day, Al Gore was born. That clears up a lot of things.
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