Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A drunk walks into a bar and orders a large beer. After a few moments he stands up and yells, “Attorney’s are assholes.” From the back of the room, another drunk stands up and says, “I resent that”. The first drunk says, “Are you an attorney?” The second drunk says, “No, I’m an asshole.”
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A lady dies and goes to heaven. She arrives at the pearly gates and is greeted by Saint Peter. There are a few people waiting, so she strikes up a conversation with him. Just then, she hears a blood curdling scream! “What was that?” she asks. “Oh, it’s nothing,” says Saint Peter, “It’s just someone getting a hole drilled in their head so they can be fitted for their halo.” A few seconds later, she hears another agonized scream, this…
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A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar: FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is. Bartender: “Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once AND, you can’t make a face while doing it. Second, there’s a ‘gator out back with a sore tooth…you have to remove…
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A man is on the first hole of a snooty golf course getting ready to hit his ball. He stands near the red tee, sets up, and gets ready to hit when he hears a voice over the loudspeaker say, “Will the gentleman please step back to the Men’s Tee.” He ignores the voice, and gets ready to hit again. Just as he starts to swing, he hears the voice again: “Will the gentleman please step back to the Men’s…
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~The following are actual winning analogies in the “worst analogies ever written in a high school essay” contest~ They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers…
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Two racehorses, Tony and Leo, always ran against each other in races. The results were always the same with Tony coming in first and Leo second. One day after losing again Leo says: “Hey Tony! How about next time you let me win? I’m tired of always coming in second.” To which Tony replies: “Well, okay, just this once.” The next day they line up at the gate, the guns goes and they are off. Leo is pouring his whole…
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There were two Irish men and a blonde walking in the jungle and they came across a man who told them they could have any one thing and would be thrown in a hole for ten years with a ten year supply of that one thing. So the first Irish man asked for a ten year supply of Irish whisky and was thrown in a hole. The second Irish man asked for a ten year supply of Irish whisky too…
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This guy and his newlywed wife go off to a fancy hotel to celebrate their first night of marriage. Both of them had been saving themselves for this night and both were very anxious to, you could say, get everything underway. They strip down naked and are about to start getting kinky when the husband takes a look at his wife and says, “That’s quite a fair sized butt you got there!!” His wife starts screaming at him and going…
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Two long-time golfing buddies got to the course one day and decided that this day they would play the ball where it lies…”No matter what!!” On the 14th hole, one of them sliced his drive, and it ended up on the concrete cart path. As he reached down to pick up his ball to get relief, his friend said, “Wait a minute! We agreed that we would not improve our lies, remember? No matter what!” The first player tried to…
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There were 3 women at a bar and they were arguing over which one of them was the loosest. The first woman said, ” My husband can stick two fingers up me.” The second woman said, “Oh, big deal, my husband can stick his whole fist up me.” Then the third woman slid down the bar stool.
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