Second hole Jokes - page 5

Kids Say The Darndest Things

Two little boys, both aged nine, were set to appear in their first play. The first boy had to say, “Ah fair maiden, I’ve come to snatch a kiss and fill your soul with hope.” The second little boy was to say, “Hark, a pistol shot.” On opening night, the two boys were very nervous. It was their first time on stage and their parents were in the front row. The first little boy came out and said, “Ah fair…

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golf disaster

One day, two guys take off from work to play a round of golf. The day is going great and the two are having a blast. Finally, the two men approach the 18th hole, only to discover that it is backed up. The people ahead of them obviously weren’t very good at golf because it was taking forever for them to hit the ball. One guy says to the other, “I am going to to tell them to hurry the…

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Playing Through

Two men, being best friends, decided to play a round of golf. About halfway through the course, they discovered that they were constantly having to wait for the two women who were playing the hole ahead of them. Finally, the first man says to the second, “I’ll go and ask if we can play through.” His friend agrees, and off he goes. Suddenly, he stops short, pauses, turns and hurries back. “What’s wrong?” inquires his friend. “I can’t ask if…

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Driving in China

I have always been a critic of Seattle driving, but recently I had a chance to see how others drive in far away countries, such as China. Since then, I have developed a profound respect for how we drive here in the Northwest. Why? What could be so bad about the driving in China? Here is a collection of short observations I have made riding in the Great Country of China. While Driving in China……………………… Traffic signals are (how should…

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golf confessional

A man starts his confession by telling the priest he has sinned by cursing the Lord and taking his name in vain. The priest, who is Irish, asks, “And tell me my son, What were the grievous and calamitous circumstances that caused you to curse God and use his name in vain?” The sinner says,”Well, father, I was playing golf, and I was finishing the best round ever, when on the 18th tee my drive slices into the rough.” “And…

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A Tennessean Moves to New York

January 10: It’s 5pm. It’s starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one we’ve seen in many years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window watching the snow flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was so pristine and beautiful. Things could not be any better. January 11: We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a…

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Did you know…

THE CREATION OF A PUSSY Seven wise men with knowledge so fine, created a pussy to their design. First was a butcher, with smart wit, using a knife, he gave it a slit, Second was a carpenter, strong and bold, with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole, Third was a tailor, tall and thin, by using red velvet, he lined it within, Fourth was a hunter, short and stout, with a piece of fox fur, he lined…

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Screw Chainletters

Hello, my name is Jonathan McKenzie. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before…

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The raffle

Tom, Dick and Harry were in the pub enjoying a few quiet drinks one night, when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle. They bought five $1 tickets each, seeing it was for charity. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize. Tom won the first prize – a whole year’s supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce. Dick was the winner of the second prize – six month’s supply of extra-long gourmet spaghetti. And…

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Genie

This young man was going golfing one day, but he wasn’t very good. He had been hitting the ball in the rough, the water, and soon a sand trap. By the time he hit the sand trap he was very annoyed. So he stood there swinging at the ball but missing and in the process digging a hole. Soon he hit something hard (not the golf ball). He bent over and dug it up to see what it was. When…

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