Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
An old man gets on a crowded bus, and no one offers to give him a seat. As the bus shakes and rattles along, the old man’s cane slips on the floor and he falls. As he slowly gets back up, a seven-year-old kid, sitting nearby, turns to him and says, “If you would put a little rubber thingy on the end of your stick, it wouldn’t slip.” The old man snaps back, “Well, if your daddy had done the…
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Back in the early 60’s, a young fellow walked into a talent agent’s office and said he wanted to break into show-biz. The agent said, “O.K. kid, show me what you can do.” The kid told some jokes, did a little soft shoe, sang a bit, did an acrobatic act with an ottoman and was good enough to impress the agent. “Great kid! Just great!” said the agent. “I can do things for you! I think I can get you…
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A local radio station, WINO, is running a competition to find contestants who can come up with words that are not found in any English Dictionary yet can still use these words in a sentence that will make logical sense; the prize being a trip for two to Bali for a week. The DJ, Sam, has many callers, the following two standing out: DJ : WINO, what’s your name? Caller: Hi, my name’s Dave. DJ: Dave, what is your word?…
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HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME 1. Both take up too much space on the bed. 2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning. 3. Both mark their territory. 4. Neither tells you what’s bothering them. 5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous. 6. Neither does any dishes. 7. Both fart shamelessly. 8. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut. 9. Both like dominance games. 10. Both are suspicious of the postman. 11. Neither…
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Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. Q: How old is your son-the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He…
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By: Matt Ravlich 10. last night I got temporary amnesia and I totally forgot! 9. My older sister couldn’t find her same homework from last year. 8. The dog did it for me, but it was in his language. 7. The paper airplane I made out of it accidental flew out the window. 6. I fell asleep on it and when I woke up all my drool smudged all the ink. 5. It is here it’s just in invisible ink!…
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One day this guy was driving a truck with his new pet parrot. He sees a hitch-hiker and pulls over to pick her up, but right before the girl gets in, the parrot says, “No fuck, no ride!” Horrified, the girl runs away. The truck driver says to the parrot, “That wasn’t nice!” He sees another girl goes to pick her up and the same thing happens. This time the truck driver says, “If you do that one more time…
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One day a third grade teacher was giving a guessing test to her students. She told them to close their eyes, while she put an item of food in their mouth. She told Bobby to close his eyes and open his mouth. She put an orange slice in his mouth and said, “Tell me what it is.” Bobby said an orange slice. She said, “You win.” She told Jane to do the same and she put a Hershey’s kiss in…
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Yo mama so fat, her cereal boal comes with a lifeguard. Yo mama so fat, her picture takes two frames. Yo mama so fat, when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 10 years! Yo mama so fat, whether she lays down or stands up her height is the same! Yo mama so fat, when she hauls ass she needs volunteers! Yo mama so fat, if ya yell “KOOL AID” she comes crashing through the…
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On a cruise ship touring the Mediterranean, there was a magician who would perform a cabaret act every night in the ship’s bar. Now, also in that bar, there was a parrot, who from his vantage point near the ceiling could see exactly how each trick was done. Every night was the same. Everytime he performed a trick the parrot would yell to the audience how the trick was done: “It’s up his sleeve!” or “Look under the table!” The…
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