S song Jokes - page 4

Signs your copy of Titanic is a bootlegged

Top Ten Signs You’ve Bought A Bootleged Copy of Titanic… 10. Instead of Leonardo DiCaprio, it’s some guy named “Leocarpo Dinardio.” 9. Movie ends; boat doesn’t sink. 8. You’re pretty sure the original version didn’t include a guy smoking weed in the front row. 7. Since when did Celine Dion’s theme song begin with “Love…exciting and new…” 6. It’s rated X, and the first three letters of the title are suspiciously capitalized. 5. Stella won’t get into a lifeboat without…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSigns your copy of Titanic is a bootlegged

The 3 Wishes

One day, a man was walking down the street when he saw a genie lamp in a nearby alley. Excitedly, he picked it up and rubbed it. A genie came out and said, “I will grant you three wishes, Master!” The man was so happy, his first wish was, “I want 100 billion dollars!!!!!!” “Your wish has been granted, $100 billion is now in your bank account.” The man was even happier. “I want beautiful women!” “Your wish has been…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe 3 Wishes

THE ORTHODOX RABBI

Debra, a beautiful Jewish girl was raised in a Strictly Orthodox home. She became engaged to Richard, a Gentile boy who agreed to convert to Judaism and to be married in the temple of Debbie’s parents. Richard had so many questions about the forthcoming ceremony that Debbie arranged for him to meet Rabbi Schiller who would be performing the marriage. “I’d like Mom and Dad to be seated right down front with all my sisters,” said Richard. “Oh no”, said…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTHE ORTHODOX RABBI

Who Wants To Be Millionaire? Christmas Special

This ghetto lady goes on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and she is going for the $1000 dollar question. Regis: Name two of Santa’s reindeer? A) Dancer & Prancer B) Vixon & Nixon C) Comit & Star D) Olive & Rudolph Ghetto Lady: (D) Olive & Rudolph ***** Audience Chuckles ***** ***** Regis Chuckles ***** Regis: Is that your final answer? Ghetto Lady: Yes Regis: You Sure? Ghetto Lady: Yes Regis: I’m sorry but you are wrong! Do you…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWho Wants To Be Millionaire? Christmas Special

Take it to the river

A Boston preacher was completing a temperance sermon. With great enthusiasm he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” With even greater enthusiasm he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” And then finally, he said, “And if I had all the pornography in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTake it to the river

Top 25 Signs That You’ve Already Grown Up

Top 25 Signs That You’ve Already Grown Up 1. Your potted plants stay alive. 2. Fooling around in a twin sized bed is absurd. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep. 5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. 6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel. 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup. 8. You…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeTop 25 Signs That You’ve Already Grown Up

Love, Lust, Or Marriage

How do you know if you’re in love, lust, or marriage? LOVE — when your eyes meet across a crowded room LUST — when your tongues meet across a crowded room MARRIAGE — when your belt won’t meet around your waist, and you don’t care LOVE — when you argue over how many children to have LUST — when you argue over who gets the wet spot MARRIAGE — when you argue over money LOVE — when you share everything…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeLove, Lust, Or Marriage

Top ten sign’s your at a Redneck wedding

Top ten sign’s your at a Redneck wedding… 10. Rehearsal dinner held at hooters 9. Instead of friends of the Bride, friends of the Groom, Usher’s ask Ford or Chevy 8. Bride’s maid’s pink tub top’s, Bride’s Groom’s Travis Tritt T-shirt’s 7. Phrase “i do” replaced with phrase “I herd dat!” 6. The “Wedding March” song performed by Hank Williams Jr. 5. Minster asked “Who giveth this woman to be married” some guy in the back stand’s up and yell’s…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTop ten sign’s your at a Redneck wedding

Funny Questions to ask yourself

1.Does the Little Mermaid wear an algae bra? 2.Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 3.How is it possible to have a civil war? 4.If God dropped acid, would he see people? 5.If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too? 6.If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? 7.If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? 8.Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S”…

(26)Loading...

Read JokeFunny Questions to ask yourself

More Chinese In 5 Minutes

English Phrase/(Chinese Phrase): I think you need a facelift/(Chin Tu Fat) Are you hiding a fugitive?/(Hu Yu Hai Ding?) See me A.S.A.P./(Kum Hai Nao) Stupid man/(Dum Gai) Small Horse/(Tai Ni Po Ni) Did you go to the beach?/(Wai Yu So Tan?) I bumped into a coffe table/(Ai Bang Mai Ni) It’s very dark in here/(Wai So Dim?) Has your flight been delayed?/(Hao Long Wai Ting?) An unauthorized execution/(Lin Ching) I thought you were on a diet/(Wai Yu Mun Ching?) This…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeMore Chinese In 5 Minutes