Right man Jokes - page 20

No Fault, No Foul

There was this guy walking down the street, when right in front of him, and coming his way, was his ex-wife. He could not walk across the street; there was just no way to avoid bumping into her and the younger man on her arm. Being startled at the chance meeting, she stammered, “W- well, hello Fred!” He tried a courteous, “Hi Martha! and how have you been sinc–” Bolstering up somewhat, and with pride of her young, blonde, good…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeNo Fault, No Foul

How to Turn Off Don Juan

He: Haven’t we met before? She: Yes, I’m the receptionist at the Bad Breath Clinic. He: Is this seat empty? She: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. He: So, wanna go back to my place? She: I don’t know. Can two people fit under a rock? He: Your place or mine? She: Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine. He: So what do you do for a living? She: I’m a female…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHow to Turn Off Don Juan

Lamaze Class Question

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is GOOD for you! Walking is especially beneficial. And, Gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt YOU to take the time to go walking with your partner!” The room really got quiet.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeLamaze Class Question

Job Searching

Joe and John, two men of the same age and qualifications, are planning on taking the same exact test in order to qualify for a job. They both sit down to take the test and when they have completed the test they each await patiently for the results. The owners of the company come up to Joe and tell him that he did not get the job, but John did. “Why?” asked Joe, “We both had the same qualifications!” “Well…”…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeJob Searching

DUI? No, wrong guy!

One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then the man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. By this time, everyone had left the bar and driven off. Finally, he started his engine and…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeDUI? No, wrong guy!

The Jerk

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn’t believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung…

(4)Loading...

Read JokeThe Jerk

Horse Country

A man named Joe was traveling through the countryside and decided to stop at a bar for a drink. Inside, some of the local patrons were watching the evening news on TV. As a picture of Hillary flashed on the screen, Joe said, “There’s a horse’s ass.” Right after he said this, a man walked up to him and knocked him off his stool. A few seconds later, the news showed Chelsea Clinton. Joe said, “There’s another horse’s ass.” As…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHorse Country

Spelling Womb

A young lady was eating lunch alone at a restaurant and couldn’t help overhearing a discussion among four men at a neighboring table. Said the first man, “Just spell it the simplest possible way—W-O-O-M.” “There’s a B in it, you dope,” said the second. “It’s spelled W-O-O-M-B.” “You don’t have enough letters,” objected the third. “I think it ought to be spelled W-O-O-O-M-M-B.” “Nonsense,” said the fourth. “It’s ridiculous to put in all those letters. Besides, there’s a final R.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSpelling Womb

Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes

Just match the Chinese interpretation to the English and speak Chinese in just 5 min! E: Are you harboring a fugitive? C: Hu Yu Hai Ding? E: See me A.S.A.P. C: Kum Hia Nao E: Stupid Man C: Dum Gai E: Your price is too high! C: No Bai Dam Ting! E: Did you go to the beach? C: Wai Yu So Tan? E: I bumped into a coffee table C: I Bang Mai Ni E: I think you need…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeLearn Chinese in 5 Minutes

Dilbert Quotes

A magazine recently ran a “Dilbert quotes” contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are some of the submittals. 1. As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. 2. What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. 3. E-mail is not to be…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeDilbert Quotes