Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had an executive make it this far, and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”…
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Here are some film phrases to help you in your film viewing. Classic- A really boring movie that no-one likes. Ten Best- The 10 worst movies. (Usually Classics) Landmark- A really, REALLY boring movie. (Like 2001) New-Wave- The directors a lunatic, and no-one can make head or tail of the movie. Review- A biased analysis of a movie made by people who care about things like plot, theme and acting; things that have nothing to do with the enjoyment of…
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Why do you need a drivers license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive? Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? How does the…
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118. By the end of the party, he’s got every damn kid doing the “pull my finger” trick. 17. Clown car must be started with a Breathalyzer device. 16. Keeps screaming, “My name’s not BO-zo, it’s bo-ZO!” 15. References to Kierkegaard and Nietzsche are lost on most 5-year olds. 14. Props for his “disappearing” trick: a moving van and your wide-screen TV. 13. Scares the holy hell outta the kids during the “Severed Limb” trick. 12. Tells the kids he…
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Inventions by Blondes =–= — The water-proof towel — Glow in the dark sunglasses — Solar powered flashlights — Submarine screen doors — A book on how to read — Inflatable dart boards — A dictionary index — Mechanical Pencil sharpeners — Powdered water — Pedal-powered wheel chairs — Waterproof tea bags — Watermelon seed sorter — Zero proof alcohol — Reuseable ice cubes — See-through toilet tissue — Skinless bananas — Do-it-yourself road map — Turnip ice cream —…
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Don and Mario went to spend a weekend in the forest, hunting bear. They hired a log cabin, and when they got there, took their backpacks off and put them inside. “You unpack while I go and find us a bear,” Don says to Mario. The analyst finished unpacking and then went and sat outside to await events. He did not have to wait too long. Soon he could hear noises in the forest. The noise grew nearer…and suddenly there…
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This doesn’t quite qualify as a Darwin Award, but it comes pretty close… PADERBORN, GERMANY – Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let fly — and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive-oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him like…
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Ron and Elaine had been married ten years, had no children, and were beginning to drift apart. Elaine told her mother one day that she thought her marriage was in trouble. “For God’s sake, Elaine”, said her mother, “you and Ron have to see a marriage counselor. Ron’s a wonderful guy, and you’ll never find anyone who’d be as good to you as he is.” So Elaine phoned her cousin Harriet, who’d been through marriage troubles herself, to get the…
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A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says, “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” The husband asks, “WHAT??” The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen that night, and he might as well deal with it. The next day the husband takes…
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I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M’s (sent to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is “MM” in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken (which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there’s no actual chicken in…
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