Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A woman sends her clothing out to the Chinese laundry. When it comes back there are still stains in her panties. The next week she encloses a note to the Chinaman that says, “Use more soap on panties.” This goes on for several weeks, the woman sending the same note to the laundry. Finally fed up, the Chinaman responded with his own note that said, “Use more paper on ass.”
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It was the first time the blonde had eaten Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself. The day after Thanksgiving her mother called to see how everything went. “Oh, Mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey,” said the daughter. “Did it not taste good?” her mother asked. “I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”
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An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first. It’s easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them. I don’t mind going nowhere as long as it’s an interesting path. Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker. It hurts to be on the cutting edge. I don’t get even, I…
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A church had a man in the choir who couldn’t sing. Several people hinted to him that he could better serve in other places, but he continued to come to the choir. The choir director became desperate and went to the pastor. “You’ve GOT to get that man out of my choir,” he said. “If you don’t, I’m going to resign. He sings very loudly and off-key! We practice and practice, and he ruins all our presentations. The other choir…
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Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess’ lap and said: “Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that…
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Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make their announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…” “We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wings.” “Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person…
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A guy walked into the bar with his talking dog, Barney. Barney sat on the stool beside his owner. The bartender said, “We don’t serve drinks to dogs.” “That’s ok, I have Barney for conversation. He talks you know.” “Is that so?” said the bartender. “I’ll tell you what, you get Barney here to talk, and drinks are on the house.” Sure enough, the guy asked Barney to say a few words, and Barney said, “Hey bartender, nice place you’ve…
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Little Johnny was in church with his mom and dad. This Sunday they happened to be sitting behind a woman whose dress was full of static electricity. When she stood up to sing the next hymn, her dress got stuck in the crack of her butt. Little Johnny, being very naughty, reached out and grabbed her dress and pulled it out of her crack. “JOHNNY!” cried his mother, “Don’t ever do that again!” The woman in the dress was also…
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Top Ten Suggestions for Guys While Playing Golf and/or Taking a Leak in a Public Bathroom: 10. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart. 9. Form a loose grip. 8. Keep your head down. 7. Avoid a quick backswing. 6. Stay out of the water. 5. Try not to hit anyone. 4. If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you. 3. Don’t stand directly in front of others. 2. Quiet please!… while others are…
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What is greater than God, more evil than Devil, the poor have it and the rich need it, and if you eat it you will die…??? — — -now, think about it carefully before you scroll down…no cheating…- — — note: only 20% of Stanford graduates got it but all of kindergartners did– — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — – – –…
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