Ra ra ra Jokes - page 243

Several years ago, I returned home from a business trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 AM, I found my two children in bed with my wife, Stacey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night. The next day, I talked to the kids, explaining that it was “OK” to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad,…

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Two morons bought a farm and moved out to the country. The farm included a mule, but the mule was pretty ornery. Every time the morons would start to lead the mule into the barn, his ears would hit the top of the door and he’d start bucking and kicking and jumping all over the barn yard. After some consideration, the morons decided that the solution to this dilemma was to raise the barn up. They were working feverishly on…

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Barry, who is noted for his tact, was awakened one morning at four o’clock by his ringing telephone. “YOUR DOG’S BARKING, AND IT’S KEEPING ME AWAKE,” said an irate voice. The man thanked the caller and politely asked his name before hanging up. The next morning at four o’clock, Barry called his neighbor back. “Sir,” he said, “I don’t have a dog.”

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A woman who plays cards one night a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke up her husband when she came home around 11:30. So she decided to be considerate and not rouse him this time. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the bedroom, only to find him sitting up in bed, reading. “My Gawd!” he exclaimed. “Did you lose EVERYTHING?!?”

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