Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
My buddy is always trying to come up with out-going messages on his answering machine, which not only entertain callers, but encourage them to leave a message, if only to comment on his weird greetings. Here’s his current message: “Thanks for calling. At the sound of the beep tone, please leave your name, phone number, your street address, the hours you will NOT be home, and a complete description of your stereo equipment.”
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A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick,…
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There was a doctor doing his daily rounds in the local mental institution. He got to one of the rooms and noticed two patients in there acting strangely. He walks up to Patient#1 and says, “Excuse me, but just what is it that you are doing?” Patient#1 looks up at the doctor and says, “Duh…can’t you see I’m cutting this piece of wood?!” The doctor notices him sawing back and forth on an imaginary piece of wood but says nothing…
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An older couple had a son, who was still living with his parents. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career … so they decided to do a small test. They took a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table … then they hid, pretending they were not at home. The father’s plan was: “If our son takes the money,…
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Two flies were happily buzzing around, when they landed on a person’s butt. Which one was on drugs? The one on the crack.
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Researchers at Harvard have discovered why Jewish women love Chinese restaurants. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Won ton” spelled backwards is “not now”.
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A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. “Don’t worry, lady ,” he said. “I’ll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping.” Several aisles later, my friend heard the butcher’s voice boom over the public-address system: “Will…
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Confucius says, Man who walk through travel agents door sideways, going to Bangkok.
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A guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks. As he’s standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up and as he’s looking at it, she walks back in. He says, “What’s this?” She says, “Oh, my father’s ashes are in there.” He turns beat red in horror…
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To realize the value of ONE YEAR Ask a student who has failed his exam. To realize the value of ONE MONTH Ask a mother who has given birth to a pre-mature baby. To realize the value of ONE WEEK Ask an editor of a weekly. To realize the value of ONE DAY Ask a daily wage laborer. To realize the value of ONE HOUR Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet. To realize the value of ONE MINUTE…
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