Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
I’m not sure if there is any truth to this, but it sure was funny. In anticipation of President Clinton’s visit to Oklahoma City, after tornadoes struck on May 3rd, one homeowner, whose home was destroyed, spray painted on what was left of his home, “HEY BILL, HOW’S THIS FOR A BLOW JOB?!” Before Clinton came, the Secret Service made him get rid of it.
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Carrying the presidential laptop computer, a White House staffer walks into the Oval Office and announces, “Bad news, Mr. President. You’ve got the Melissa Virus.” An exasperated Clinton curses, gets up from his chair and promptly drops his pants. “Well, don’t just stand there!” Clinton yells. “Get the doctor in here to give me a shot and get it over with. Damn that topless dancer from Jersey!”
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Q:Why doesn’t the President wear socks? A:His pants keep his ankles warm!!
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A magazine recently ran a “Dilbert quotes” contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are some of the submittals. 1. As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. 2. What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. 3. E-mail is not to be…
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(Sing to the tune of “The Beverly Hillbillies”) Well, dere once was a story ’bout a man named Bill; Da poor president couldn’t keep his willie still; Den one day he was workin’ at his desk, When in walks Monica and shows da boy her chest … Boobs, that is. Two of ’em. Bodacious ta ta’s. Well da next thing ya know, Monica is on her knees, Mouth open wide and as happy as you please; Bill sez, “oh yeah…
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President Bush is representing the United States of America on a highly formal, orchestrated state visit to England. Air Force One stops at a bright red carpet along which the President strides to join Queen Elizabeth II in a beautiful, ornate 17th-century coach hitched to 6 enormous matched white horses. The coach proceeds through the streets of London en route to Buckingham Palace, the Queen and the President waving to the cheering throngs. Then suddenly the right rear horse produces…
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One day, while President Clinton was at “work” in the oval office, a secret service agent comes in and says, “Mister Clinton , I’ve got bad news, good news, and worse news. The bad news is there is a protest outside for your resignation as president, the good news is there’s only one protester.” Clinton replies, “So what’s the really bad news?” The agent says, “It’s Gore sir.”
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Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of that year’s incoming freshmen. Here’s this year’s list: **************************************** 1. The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1980. 2. They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan Era and did not know he had ever been shot. 3. They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.…
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“Resumania” is a term coined by Mr. Robert Half, founder of RHI Consulting’s parent company, to describe the unintentional bloopers that often appear on job candidates’ resumes, job applications and cover letters. Here’s some examples: “I perform my job with effortless efficiency, effectiveness, efficacy, and expertise.” (And an eye on the “e” section of the dictionary, evidently.) “Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity.”…
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If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy? Hard work will pay off later. Laziness pays off now! If only women came with pull-down menus and on-line help. When blondes have more fun, do they know it? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. Four out of five people think the fifth is an idiot. Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking? A hangover is…
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