Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. “If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I’m against it. But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I’m for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise.”
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A young blonde, on vacation in Louisiana, wanted a pair of alligator shoes, but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices. “I’ll just catch my own alligator,” she told one shopkeeper, so I can get a pair of shoes for free.” She stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp. Later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the blonde standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in. She took aim…
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Have you ever wondered how the female mind works as compared to the male mind? Yes Male minds are simple. HER DIRECTIONS: 80….(SF)….just after the weight station near cordelia(i think) will be an exit for 14…Sonoma and Napa….take it…..follow it all the way thru…..till you end up in fairfield…there is a signal next to…a Beer joint i think it is….i don’t know…but you merge to the right which turns into a lil 2 lane freeway dealy….go thru the signal…go over…
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by Dave Berry 1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings”. 3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.” 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with…
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The Lord spoke to Noah and said, “In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark.” In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark. In fear and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed…
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There was this truckie talking to his boss about the new truck that had arrived and the boss was telling the truckie to take it to depot 1 which was over the other side of the city, telling the truckie, “Look mate, this is a brand new truck. I want you to take it over to depot one and if you get into any trouble in the least, call me and I’ll sort it out.” So off the truckie goes…
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You measure distance in minutes. Weather is 80% of your conversation. “Down south” to you means Iowa. Snow tires came standard on your car. You have no concept of public transportation. 75% of your graduating high school class went to the University of Minnesota. You know more than 1 person that has hit a deer. People from other states love to hear you say words with O’s in them. You know what and where Dinkytown is. You have no problem…
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Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of the world-famous detective, Sherlock Holmes, was not above telling tales about himself in which he was the laughing-stock. Here is one of those stories. As he tells it, he was waiting at a taxi-stand outside the railway station in Paris. When a taxi pulled up, he put his suitcase in it and got in himself. As he was about to tell the taxi-driver where he wanted to go, the driver asked him: “Where…
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A forest ranger is making rounds in a remote part of the wooded reserve when he comes across an unkempt man, sitting at a make-shift campfire, and, to the ranger’s astonishment, eating a fish and a bald eagle. The man is consequently put in jail for the crime. He was soon brought to trial for his crime. The Judge asked the man, “Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?” “Yes, I do, Judge,” replied the…
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Sometimes advertising campaigns backfire. Here are a few true examples. 1. Coors translated it’s slogan “Turn it loose” into Spanish, where it was read as “Suffer from diarrhea.” 2. Clairol introduced the “Mist Stick” curling iron into Germany, where they later found out that ‘mist’ is the German equivalent of shit. 3. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market to coincide with the Pope’s visit. But instead of “I saw the Pope” (el Papa), the…
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