Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day a man was at home with his dog when the dog fell over as if he had passed out. The man took his dog to the vet and asked the vet what was wrong with his dog. The vet answered, “Your dog is dead sir.” The man insisted that the vet was wrong and demanded a second opinion, so the vet brought in a cat. The cat walked around the dog and let out a loud meow. The…
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A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election. We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay off. We demand speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won’t buy a car if it can’t go over 100 miles an hour. We know…
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Santa’s Checkride Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner arrived. In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf’s nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa’s weight and balance calculations…
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Many Indian tribes of South America practiced a little known ritual..only recently discovered by archeologists. It seems that in order to please their gods they would sacrifice a virgin once a year. They would do this by hanging her from a tree till death. However, rather than taking her down they would leave her hanging there until she would decompose. When that time came they would all gather in a circle around her body and sing “Swing Low, Sweet Cherry-rot”..
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Q. Now, doctor, isn’t it true that, when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? ————————— Q. How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision? ————————— Q. She had three children, right? A. Yes. Q. How many were boys? A. None. Q. Were there any girls? ————————— Q. Mr. Slattery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you? A. I went to Europe, sir. Q. Did you…
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A local TV station sponsored a contest for young ladies who were to swim across Lake Ontario. The winner would receive a modeling contract. Three women entered…a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. The winner was the brunette who made it in twelve hours, followed closely by the redhead who came in 30 minutes later. When the blonde still hadn’t come in two hours later, they sent a boat out to pick her up. They found her exhausted and angry…
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At a Greenwich Village Ball a young woman presented herself entirely without clothes. The doorman stopped her, with these words: Miss this is a costume Ball. We don’t mind how few clothes you have on, but you are supposed to represent something. The woman went to the ladies dressing room and shortly reappeared with nothing on save a pair of black shoes and black gloves. The doorman stopped her and asked what she was supposed to be. “Can’t you see…
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1.Does the Little Mermaid wear an algae bra? 2.Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 3.How is it possible to have a civil war? 4.If God dropped acid, would he see people? 5.If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too? 6.If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? 7.If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? 8.Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S”…
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“How to Keep the Wackiness Alive in the Modern Workplace, Part I” ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document. Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but you didn’t have time for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during he meeting. During the meeting, eat 5 entire raw potatoes. Insist that your e-mail address be “[email protected]” Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him/her…
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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn’t they be wearing night gowns? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? When someone says, “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? Why is the man who invests all your money called a “broker”? Are you “broker” after doing business with him? Why do croutons come in airtight packages?…
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