Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Smith goes to the doctor. He has a string hanging out of his ass. The doctor says that this is most unusual. “I don’t know what to make of it. I have no diagnosis. Perhaps we should just pull the string and see what happens.” The learned doctor proceeded to pull the string. He pulled and pulled, and out came a dozen long-stemmed American Beauty roses. “My God,” proclaimed the doctor, “I’ve never seen that before. Where do you suppose…
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* Missing your cat? Try looking under my tires. * I love cats … dead ones * I love cats … they taste just like chicken * Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit. * So many recipes, so few cats. * Cats… the other white meat. * The gene pool could use a little chlorine. * I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. * Save a mouse… Eat…
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People are more violently opposed to fur than to leather because it’s safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t. Under Democrats, man exploits man. Under Republicans, it’s just the reverse. Today is the last day of your life, so far.
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How To Shower Like A Woman: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so you can complain and whine even more about how you’re getting fat. 4. Get in the shower.…
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Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. “This,” she said, “I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?” “No, Madam,” replied the attendant. “That one’s called a mirror.”
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The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes, the teacher asked, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…?” After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”
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Sandra: “I hear Roy has finally proposed to you. Did he happen to mention that he proposed to me first?” Cheryl: “Not specifically. He DID say, however, that he had done a lot of foolish things before he met me.”
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Just recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in my community to be a judge at a chili cookoff because no one else wanted to do it. Also, the original person called in sick at the last minute and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy,…
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Phil was driving home from the insurance office where he worked when his right rear tire blew. He bumped along to a stop in front of the State Mental Hospital where he noticed that he was being observed by a patient sitting on the grass. Realizing this was not a dangerous inmate, Phil ignored him and pried off the hubcap. He got the car jacked up and spun the five lug nuts off the wheel, dropping them carefully in the…
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Paddy goes to a carpenter, “Can you build me a box that’s two inches high, two inches wide and 50 feet long?” “Well,” said the carpenter, “it could me done, I suppose, but what would you want a box like that for?” “Well,” said the Polak, “a neighbour moved away and forgot some things. So he’s asked me to send him his garden hose.”
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