Oy Jokes - page 17

Some folks have it, some don’t. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don’t have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong. Those who don’t have it may agree that it’s an nifty toy, but think it’s not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don’t have it would like to try it.…

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A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean. It was the “craziest” thing he had ever done in his life. Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child’s toy. Somehow the engineer, desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a secluded island. Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts, there was little else. He lost…

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Friends took their first-grader on a car trip to Canada. To help pass the time, the boy practiced his new reading skills by calling out road signs. He fell asleep just before they entered Quebec. When he awoke, he saw the French highway signs and said in a worried tone, “Daddy, I think I forgot how to read while I was asleep.”

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Little Red Riding Hood was getting ready to go and visit her grandmother in the forest and her mother said “You’d better not go out tonight, Little Red Riding Hood, because the big bad wolf’s out and you know what he’ll do; He’ll lift up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties and f**k your little red socks off.” But Little Red Riding Hood pulled out a shotgun and said, “Don’t worry Mum, I’ve got it covered.”…

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One day a man named Olaf walks into the office of a headhunter and says, “I WON A DOB!” The headhunter looks up over the top of his glasses and says, “Excuse me?” Once again the man says, “I WON A DOB!” “Oh,” the headhunter says. “You want a job, I see…what is it you do?” The man says, “I’m a Diesel Fitter.” With this the headhunter turns on his laptop and types vigorously to search his computer files in…

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One day during class, the teacher decided to play a guessing game with her students. She said, “I’ll hold something behind my back, give a couple of clues, and whoever guesses what it will win lunch on me.” “Okay,” the teacher said, “the first item is round, red, and has seeds.” Katie raised her hand said, “Is it an apple?” “Sorry Katie it’s not an apple, it’s a tomato, but I like the way your thinking.” “The second object is…

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One day, a man walks in a bakery shop and asks:”Do you have a special kind of candy bar which has the bread in the middle and the caramel on the outside?” Surprised, the owner says he doesn’t. The next day, the same man walks into the same bakery shop and asks: “Do you have a special kind of candy bar which has the bread in the middle and the caramel on the outside?” Noticing the man had asked this…

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