Own a car Jokes - page 33

A guy was driving his car down an old country road, when he ran right into a big mud hole and got his car stuck. Just so happens a farmer comes along on his tractor and says,” Hey stranger, I’ll pull you out for $20.00.” Well the guy had no choice, so he motioned to the farmer to go ahead. After the farmer had pulled the car out and had it on dry ground again, the guy says, “For as…

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Alabama: At Least We’re Not Mississippi Alaska: But It’s a Dry Cold Arizona: But It’s a Dry Heat Arkansas: Litterasy Ain’t Everthing California: Nouvelle Cuisine and Religions You Never Heard Of Colorado: If You Don’t Ski, Forget It Connecticut: Like Massachusetts Only Dirtier Delaware: You’ll Love the Chemicals in Our Water Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids Georgia: We Put the Fun in Fundamentalist Extremism Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)…

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While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom. With dismay, I looked from his muddy boots to my newly-scrubbed floors. “Just a minute,” I said, thinking of a quick solution. “I’ll put down some newspapers for you.” “That’s all right, Lady,” he responded. “I’m already trained.”

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A new restaurant opened over the weekend and the owner’s friend sent over flowers to celebrate the opening. However, when the flowers arrived at the new restaurant, the owner took one look at the card which read, “Rest In Peace.” This so angered the owner that he called up the florist to complain. After the owner had told the florist about the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said, “I’m really really sorry for what happened, sir.…

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The traveling salesman’s car broke down in the country and he knocked on the farmhouse door. When the farmer opened the door, the salesman said, “Sir, my car has broken down, and I was wondering if you might be able to put me up for the night?” The farmer said, “Why, sure, but you will have to sleep with my son.” The salesman hesitated then said, “Excuse me, sir, but I think I’m in the wrong joke.”

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1. Home is where you hang your @ 2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. 3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. 4. You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks. 5. Great groups from little icons grow. 6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone. 7. C:\is the root of all directories. 8. Don’t put all your hypes in one home page. 9. Pentium wise, pen and paper foolish.…

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An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. “Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.” “Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.” “That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of…

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